this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2023
114 points (93.2% liked)

Asklemmy

43746 readers
1347 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

like either a dumbass posting stupid shit, unfair bans, idiotic arguments, etc etc. i feel so incredibly stupid letting it affect me at all, but then also there's real feelings mixed in there because it's a real argument i give a shit about to some degree. so it's this odd double crossing where i know it's stupid but i process it as being real.

bonus points for not answering 'go outside drink water read a book' etc etc

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] Behaviorbabe@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Situational.

First, if it's directed at me, I do not engage. Like, at all. If someone is trying to get my attention with shitty behavior, they're not getting it. If it's the guy on my discord meme channel who posts incel memes, I really have do have to remind myself not to engage. That one is harder, because I feel like they're taking away from the quality of the space, I don't want them in my orbit AT ALL, but they are part of the greater community, and this channel sort of quarantines their brain vomit. So again, I never engage with them, but I deliberately engage with other posters and community members who are productive and positive. In the short term, it's not rewarding, but in the long term I do feel much better about myself. And finally, sometimes I really do need to step away--maybe it's into another game, another community, etc. Sometimes I do need to take a break, seek other forms of entertainment and reinforcement. The main thing is not to continuously expose yourself to things that are aversive to you and just stress and stress. You have to break it somehow.