this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2023
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High on what and why?
Usually, I take edibles. They slow my mind down enough to relax and possibly sleep. Tonight, however, I’ve had some very good cocaine.
Fun fact: In Vietnamese, we call it trang. It’s pronounced like Chan + g in English! Think John, but with a Ch! Then add a “g” at the end. That is the best way I can say it. I can also teach you to curse if you are interested!
Edit: It occurs to me that I did not post a “why”. Why am I high? Because the meds they give don’t help enough. So I use alcohol and coke, on the weekends, to fill the void.
Aren’t you worried you will get addicted to that stuff?
I am definitely worried. About 2 years ago, I used 1g+ of cocaine per day, at minimum. I had some tonight for the first time this month. I credit my best friend and sister for helping me climb out of that deep and terrible hole. I bought a ball tonight. But I gave it to her to hold. I have no access to it. It will likely last us 2-3 months
how the hell did you afford 1g+ per day lmao
I was doing 2g per week and it financially ruined me.
You're probably aware of how those supply estimates tend to exponentially shrink after each endeavour. I hope you told your friend/sister to be super strict with rationing.
I'm going to give unsolicited advice. Make an appointment with your psych on Monday. Let them know you're not happy and your meds aren't working. The correct med combo is absolutely worth pursuing.
My doctor switched me from prozac to wellbutrin and effexor and honestly, the difference is night and day. Haven't felt the need to use coke in over two years. Haven't been drunk since July last year. I don't miss it.
Also, meds are half the work. There's nothing wrong with spending a Saturday night alone, but how often do you do this?
Yo, thank you for your reply!
My psychiatrist is trying to help me find a combo that will help me get a leg up out of the pit that is depression. She knows that I am dealing with the racing thoughts, all of the time, with edibles. She also knows that 1-3 times per month, I drink myself into a stupor and balance it with coke.
Supporting a 1g per day habit is terrible. Most days I would eat one pack of instant noodles and an egg. I’d go to work high out of my mind, which on 3rd shift at a small publisher was possible. I slept with a 40cal under my pillow because I thought my connect was going to break in to collect what I owed. $1,300 per week was gone as soon as I got paid. I had to cash in change so that I could get a pack of cigs. Do not recommend!!
Stay strong & healthy. I believe in you <3
(And I’m here if you need to talk to a stranger)
Thank you! I’m also available in the evening EST if you or anyone would like to talk!!
Which meds are they?
I know I should not drink, and should definitely not use cocaine with it. I’m on Lamictal 200mg x 2 per day, plus lexapro in the AM. I only drink on Saturday nights. I know it is not helpful, but it’s the best I got. I used to be a twice or three times daily cocaine user. Now, it’s every two weeks, or more.