this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2023
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Ohh a totally different spin then, thoughts are not the same as actions. For me intention wins, however it falls flat it nobody can understand you. So I can see why the counterargument has weight.
Yeah, how I often see it described is that, even if you didn't intend for something to sound bad - if someone else perceives it as bad, then you just messed up.
I've seen this in a few different places online and it made me think but then I was at work and saw it mentioned in an anti-sexual harassment training video. That kind of made me realize this is like, the new ideology being pushed. At least where I am anyway.
I agree with you, I think it's dangerously stupid to push that idea if you don't also make an emphasis on trying to understand the other person. Empathy goes both ways, saying perception is the only thing that matters sounds like a cheap and selfish way to avoid a real conversation.
It's like when people don't speak your language and accuse you of insulting them even though they have no idea - and worse yet no intention on their part- of ever finding out what you were saying.
Yes! It seemed very one sided to me. Especially after seeing it in a training video, where I get it and it made sense but I couldn't help but think, doesn't this mean someone can just misinterpret something and then run wild with that because that's how they perceived it?
That does happen too... I guess it boils down to the common sense of those involved, more reasonable people would work out their differences whilst unbalanced ones not so much.
You also have the extra complexity legal loopholes and cultural differences in a work environment so I can understand why a company would be pushing for interpretation/perception more than intention.