this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
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Except it’s fucking terrifying
This is where im at. I’ve been under twice and I dont want nothing I want something, I want existence and awareness of it.
You don't even get the awareness of your life up until that point. It makes me think of René Descartes' validation of it existence. "I think, therefore I am". The problem is that, when you're under, you cease to think, therefore you cease to be. Also, if the meaning or value of life is the collection of memories we gather along the way, and the moment you cease you not only lose further thought but also all memories and experiences you collected up until that point, then what the fuck are we doing here?
Spreading and sharing those thoughts and memories, fragments of our selves, so that they can live on in everyone we ever interact with. People who will, in turn, spread those fragments on even further.
A therapist recommended the book A Mans Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl when i mentioned something similar and it may help answer that question for you if you can snag a copy or pdf
Great book. Eh, maybe great isn’t the right word but it’s a good book to read. I was also recommended this book to deal with PTSD
Just trying to be
It's not. If you don't wake up from it you'll never even know or care. So who cares?
So instead of being scared of dying, the terror comes from being dead.
I'm not scared of being dead, it's like before you were born, you wouldn't even know.
I'm scared of dying a slow death. Like buried alive, or with a broken body in a hospital bed. Instant death? I don't care.
Ya, I'm scared of suffocation.