Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Trans women are women. We suffer under patriarchy too, indirectly before we transition and directly after we do. We also suffer under cisgendernormativity throughout our whole lives.
We are not the enemies of women. We are women. Cisgender women and transgender women share female solidarity, and we are and always will be allied. Cisgender women and girls (and those perceived that way) are oppressed through patriarchy and misogyny their whole lives. But we suffer from it too. We should have solidarity for each other's lived experiences. Its the transphobic people who are trying to portray us as enemies. They are wrong. Any feminist, any enemy of patriarchy, understands how transphobia negatively affects cisgender men and women too.
I guess enemy was probably a poor choice of word(wording is hard). Somewhat like, I don't feel good enough, and I definitely don't look the part. On the physically masc - femme scale my body is like 99% masc
Is the butchest biker bull dyke who ever lived, a woman?
It's not about meeting some ideal before you can consider yourself a woman. We come in all shapes and sizes. You are not your body, you are your mind, which happens to have a body, which in at least some ways does not suit the mind that is you. Don't conflate the mutable meat Gundam you pilot, for your self.
Holy shit I think I can finally get it! Thank you, I feel like I've seen this idea in other words but it didn't quite hit in the same way.
That quoted bit, is that broadly rephrasing my comment? If so, I might need some more explanation.
Yeah, it would have been a lot harder to get the thing that succinctly. You talk about afab people putting up with shit and how you don't have the right to count yourself among them, but throughout this thread there were bits of explanation of how you have suffered because of expectations of womanhood that are patriarchal norms.
I see now. I was reading your comment just as a reply to the one immediately above it. I had not really considered some of this stress does eventually stem from the same patriarchal system. Wow! It makes complete sense. I think my therapist was driving at that idea at one point but didn't quite hear it that way. Ok, so I guess maybe I do relate to cis women a little bit 😅
I love your meat Gundam analogy. 😂 If my previous comment was not clear this is what finally clicked in my brain. It makes so much sense. It does feel like it's more relatable to anyone else who feels uncomfortable about whatever aspects of their meat Gundam, cis or not.
You not feeling good enough to be a woman because of your body is because of transmisogyny. Many cisgender women feel their bodies aren't worthy due to perceived physical masculinity.