this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2023
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Autism
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I would say, given what you've described, one thing you need to do is be willing to fail. Convince yourself that you can say something to someone without knowing how the conversation will end. Because it kinda sounds like that planning idea is how you get stuck inside your head. You can't sit and plan conversations all day. You have to actually have them. That will involve experiencing failure, and learning from that failure, and trying again. That's normal. Everyone does it, whether neurotypical or anywhere on the spectrum.
Having conversations is how you get better at having conversations.
You're making a lot of sense. I also struggle with phone calls, and the only way that I've found to make them work is to take out something that I can take notes on (or I will forget what was said during the conversation), and then just dial the number before I even have time to think about it.
It can be hard to remember in the moment, but I try to remind myself that the other person probably also wants the conversation to succeed.