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It was my birthday a few days ago and all I can think about is how I'm still a virgin (lemmynsfw.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by Streammy@lemmynsfw.com to c/casualconversation@lemm.ee

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I feel like past a certain age everyone doesn't like growing older. For me I have that same feeling plus the added pressure that every year I go from being an X year old virgin to an X+1 one year old virgin. I'm about to finish collage and go into the work field which given my internship I can already tell I won't have much of a chance at meeting new people even less girls.

Everytime I find someone and start getting along with them really well. I think to my self this will finally be the year which I stop being a virgin. But it just has not worked out. Of course I dont go into a relationship with the sole goal of losing my V-card but it is something that crosses my mind.

I am 24 year old and I am still a virgin.

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[–] Streammy@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I mean yeah of course I have milestone and goals. But without them I would not have the motivation to do things in life. And I feel like this is one of those goals which I'm falling at missirably

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

To be clear, i was referencing "milestones" that are foisted on us by our society and upbringing. Personal goals are fantastic.

Also, if you'll allow an old man to ramble, goals are those things we can accomplish without the permission of a specific person. For example, getting job in your chosen field is a goal. Getting a job at Google is a hope or dream. Buying a house is a goal. Buying that house is a dream. Sex can be transactional (goal), but is healthiest (imo) when it is the natural extension of a close friendship that becomes a relationship.

Anyway, don't lose hope. You sound like you're in a good spot as far as Maslow's hierarchy of needs goes. Life is indeed a journey, as cliché as it sounds. We've all been dealt certain hands, and some of us can trade some cards out. Others are stuck with what they have in hand. A lot of satisfaction in life comes from our perspective and attitude. My last bit of old man advice is this: before you begin feeling down on your situation in life take a positive inventory. If you haven't already, start each day by writing ten positive things in your life. Or five. Or one. But do it. Add to the list daily. When the dark days come, review the list.

I didn't know you, but I love you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some clouds to yell at

[–] skotimusj@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

I think you may have the wrong perspective here. Sex isn't a milestone or something to "be obtained." If you go into an encounter trying to check a box then, you are setting yourself up to be disappointed. Sex is something fun that happens naturally between partners who are open and both have interest in sex. Focus on being happy with yourself (be a person that you would want to have sex with) and investing in your relationships.