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How do I stop slef sabotage and procrastination? (mander.xyz)

submitted 1 month ago by Mothra@mander.xyz to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I used to be good at time management and very motivated in my career. Then about two years ago I lost a close friend over a strong disagreement and then lost my job.

Slowly but surely I became a bit depressed and had some physical health issues. I'm seeing a therapist already, and a few months ago I finally managed to get a plebe job at a retailer, but when it comes to doing my personal work that would open doors in my industry I just can't seem to find the time and motivation to do it.

Don't get me wrong. I got plenty of time available, I just find myself being ridiculously avoidant or distracted or tired, you get the idea. And, no, I don't use social media much, I don't videogame or binge shows. I just get distracted with house chores or simply overthinking.

I've already tried lists, planning and goal setting ( all this comes naturally to me), but it makes no difference.

I've tried reducing the expectations and goals, no difference. I still don't do anything.

I tried apps to keep track of my progress; also useless.

I've even considered finding a life coach, but I get the feeling they're a scam. Unfortunately I don't have any friends or relatives that can help me stay on track with my goals.

TLDR I'm getting a bit desperate here. Any suggestions welcome. Thanks.

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[–] AtHeartEngineer@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

What do you give a shit about?

Sometimes finding anything to care about when you are depressed, but if/when you find something you care about beyond feeling better, you should really think about why, and if it's healthy, lean into it.

Some people care about creating, some about building, some discover, service to others, analysis, working with their hands, being in nature. What do you gravitate towards? Some people go down a path they don't care about, because of external pressures, or comfort, or just trying to get by.

If you don't care to advance the career you are in, maybe it's time to think about why.

I trust that if you know yourself enough to admit in words on the internet that you aren't helping yourself, you are damn self aware enough to think about these things. Don't worry about the stress of changing careers or losing progress or what other people think. Just figure out what you might care about, which paths you could see yourself going down, and mentally explore those and see what you give a shit about. Find some intersection between stuff you give a shit about and what is productive, and motivation comes. Motivation is a by-product, a secondary effect, of having something motivating to work on.