this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2024
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A man born into high level football, but whom has somehow failed to learn anything about the game other than the 12 yard box, whose entire family was paid with oil money to play for human rights abusers, who turns into a massive crybaby the minute he doesn't score a hat trick because IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY.
Fuck, he's the Dudley Dursley of football.
I mean, you can eat the rivalry and all... but if Arteta pulled a Sol Campbell style coup and managed to sign Haaland in January, we'd all be frothing at the seams.
I'd pay him £5 a week to score penalties against Gunnersaurus