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Are tits really that unsanitary that you're going to infect a restaurant topless? I've got nipples, and I think they're cleaner than my hands because I didn't touch the door handle with my pecs.
How do YOU open doors???
I won't reveal this secret but I will tell you it's large and prehensile.
It's something you wouldn't have a problem with until you sat down in a booth and suddenly your back is covered in some shirtless person's sweat.
If its so hot they're sweating, the shirt would be wet and so would the chair
Not really, but it’s one of those things you need to be prepared to be asked to do. Many bars are cool with it though, even ones that are restaurants. I guess the whiskey disinfects the tits
Ah, got it.
Next time a restaurant gives me shit about being topless, I'll just dip a rag in some whiskey, rub my nipples with it, and say "there! Are you happy? And proceed to place my order"