this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024
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[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I was talking to my wife about this yesterday, and ultimately this is a kink that’s dicey as fuck. There’s no way to play it 100% without running the risk of rape.

I mean, if you’re a guy who gets off on women being asleep/passed out when you have sex with them, knowing that they’ve given express consent kinda kills the vibe. But you can’t expect to have sex with someone who hasn’t given you express consent.

So in the end I fall down on having zero sympathy for the guys who claim they thought she was in on it. She’s either told you it’s cool or she hasn’t.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 4 points 1 month ago

Initially I figured that the story was that the guys were made to believe that it was her fantasy, not theirs, simply because I find it unlikely that he'd be capable of even finding 50 guys with that kind of fantasy.

I have personal no experience in this, but I suppose that's the purpose of "safe words", which will allow someone to participate in that kind of roleplay featuring imaginary non consencual sex until someone yells "Oklahoma".

Anyway, with it happening in some small village, I can imagine how they could be oblivious to any proper way of doing that sort of kink, but it can never remove their own responsibility of not having concent.

Put in a more straightforward way: I can not allow you to punch your friend in the balls. Only your friend can allow that. Regardless of how many times I tell you it's okay, it's just not okay, until he allows it himself, which has nothing to do with what I said.