Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
- No personal attacks
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
!feminism@beehaw.org
!askmen@lemmy.world
!mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world
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Ah, yeah, so that's mainly an issue with my paraphrase not adequately capturing the context.
The context of that point was in relation to the video's highlighting of how it can be both a little weird and detrimental to listen only to other men about how to be appealing to women, and to think that they know better than women about what women themselves may want. A lot of the video is referencing and trying to push back against the whole pick-up artist, be a manly man, how to woo the ladies kind of advice and incel venting floating around some online spaces. In trying to paraphrase that I dropped that context and phrased it more firmly than the video did, so that was my bad, as it wasn't saying only behave as your partner might want, but to try to recognize what it is they do like about you as you are and appreciate that, even if you may not understand it. E.g. liking when you're being silly despite that going against some views of what men are "supposed" to be like, i.e. "stoic & serious".
This is why I also had the second point paraphrased as that's a big part of the balance to the first. You definitely don't want to bend over backwards and go against who you are to whoever you're trying to attract, and that's emphasized in the video, especially towards the end where I paraphrased the second part from. The video's conclusion is basically, "Don't fall for people telling you they have the absolute answers to how to get with other people, and ultimately, just be yourself. If you have a negative view of yourself, focus on picking up hobbies or learning some skills and improving yourself so that you can learn more about yourself, like yourself more, & feel better about being you."
In other words, a variation of the old advice of, people won't like you if you don't like you, or something like that.
Fair points, and thanks for the clarification. It's a very long video so I appreciate the TLDR.