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I almost never meet women like this so maybe it depends on your area. I'd love to be in a woman's roster but they all want monogamous relationships.
Trust me, you don't. These women will often want the full emotional availability of a romantic partner from you, with a fraction of both the emotional and physical availability of a partner from them. They generally want a monogamous relationship, just from an emotionally unavailable guy who is very physically attractive. Above all else, they will not be honest about your "ranking".
Almost any woman who is halfway sane and willing to use online dating tends to get into a relationship in like three months tops. There's also a decent number of women who are either not looking for a relationship, or would like a relationship but think the apps are super toxic.
However around 10 to 15 percent of the women I meet are very much architects of their own misery. These women are extremely vocal, generally shitty to their potential partners, and can always find more partners due to the nature of OLD. The frustrating part is I haven't met a single woman who calls out this behavior, and a significant amount that actually reassure these people.
My GF insists that most women are just trying to be supportive, and that they don't actually approve of the toxic behavior in question. My conversations with closer female friends backs this up. However in my eyes all this does is enable and normalize said behavior. It is also especially frustrating because I'm 100 percent expected to speak out if another guy does something remotely problematic.
That's a whole separate issue from women having a roster of men.
Idk about emotional availability. I just want a fuck buddy. If she can't provide that, she's gone.
That's about you being able to enforce your own boundaries, bro
Okay so what do you suggest I do. Cut out every single female friend in my life? Convince my single male friends, as a man in a relationship, to boycott online dating apps?
The only behavior uncommon enough to actually get away from are ethically non monogamous relationships and straight up cheating. That's 100 percent a red line for me at this point. Everything else is so ubiquitous that I'm basically forced to put up with it if I want to be social.
You just have to worry about being happy in the relationship you're actually in and not project these feelings of disrespectful non-monogamy on to others.
It's completely reasonable not to want to live in a society where infidelity or betrayal is normalized.
You're projecting your own feelings of betrayal onto others. This is a you problem.
Okay so what instances do you think are not betrayals? The only thing that I can see as subjective is the "roster", and I've had a good amount of single friends express their own feelings of betrayal on that.
Unless you're actually just getting salty on me calling out open relationships, in which case the betrayal is assumed because of the inevitable breakup.
Betrayal depends on the boundaries set within each relationship. In open relationships, there's no betrayal if all actions are consensual and agreed upon. It's about honesty and communication. Assuming all open relationships end in breakups ignores the reality that many people are happy in non-monogamous arrangements. Just because it’s not for everyone doesn’t make it wrong or destined to fail.
I’m had 2 women tell me they had this and saw one on OLD. Of them the 2 got so fed up of men and their bullshit. Started having activity buddies with benefits. One was my cousin so I knew the back story of her asshole husband. Other was a neighbour of a good friend.
Oh this is another thing. I know some women who are perpetually single despite heavy usage of OLD. I used to have a lot of sympathy, but at this point I've met many women in relationships via OLD, and the entire process took them six weeks. The second category of women weren't "higher value" or whatever, they just had more realistic expectations and were less shallow.