this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2024
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And Finally...
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I'll throw my wasp tricks out, hope they help.
First thing to know, the little fuckers are packing facial recognition wetware in that tangle of neurons they call a brain. Probably more like pattern matching, but whatever, they can recognize you.
Knowing this, don't fucking look at them. Make it a point to ignore 'em. Had a nest over my front door and they never even buzzed me or my pig, and we went in and out the door many times a day. OK, you can look briefly, but do not stare. Got a tiny nest of little ones at camp. I can briefly look at them from 6" and they don't budge.
Second, don't yell, scream or wave your arms around like a horny bonobo. You're causing them to see you as a threat. Hell, come at me spazzing out, I'm seeing a threat.
"We're gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda what's Fonzie like?"
"Cool?"
"Correctamundo!"
Third, all bets are off with hornets. Run and let the devil take the hindmost.