Asklemmy

Ex even me, for the most part, I have very little understanding of being close emotionally or physically with someone and not dating them.

So this is important to recognize when it comes to internalizations - this is what society has been teaching you as a male, is normal. Women do not have this problem, because women are allowed to be physically close with other women. However, they will learn, quite quickly, that this makes them prey to sexual assault and unwanted sexual attention from men and will learn to avoid this behavior.

But in my life, both men and women would be offended if i said this to them

Some may, but many will not. I understand, however, that you may not be willing to test this given what you said next:

It’s genuinely a risky approach to do this, bc it’s not uncommon to be called a pussy (or similar) for sharing the vulnerabilities.

I find it sad you live in a society which treats you like this. As I mentioned earlier, seeking out explicitly queer spaces might help to avoid this kind of toxic behavior. Moving somewhere a bit less conservative might help as well. I understand that neither of these may be accessible to you and I'm sad that many people are stuck in positions like this and unable to healthily connect with others.

Also, you blog about this kind of thing anywhere? I wanna read more about the world you’ve live lol

I do not. I live in one of the gayest cities in the world (San Francisco), but this isn't exactly new behavior for me either. I lived similarly even in much less gay cities. It's really about who you seek out and surround yourself with.