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I do feel like looking for a small instance is better from what I've read so far, but this is the first time I've heard control over my feed being different by instance, outside of instances defederating.
I chose sh.itjust.works but since then I’ve realized that it would be better to support instances that are local to me so I think I’ll move to an Australian instance. Supporting local instances might help with regional growth
https://aussie.zone/
This is the one I’m thinking of switching to
its more that with more existing users its more likely any particular community will have already been pulled into that instance by someone else already.
I run my own instance so there's nothing on my all feed outside of communities I already sub to because there are no others on my instance.
As a reminder, instances only get content from a community when someone on that instance is subscribed to it ( so to get it in in the first place they'd search !community@instance then subscribe to it).
Control is maybe the wrong term.
If you choose an instance that vaguely aligns with your interests then your local feed will be more interesting.