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Sorry for the potentially controversial question: is it normal for less attractive people to settle down with partners they don't find physically attractive? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 3 months ago by RebiJes@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

This happens on a timeline tho. They may have been variably attractive when they got together and just aged and there's more incentive for either to maintain the status quo than cut each other loose

Also eye of the beholder. Nobody is inherently attractive, they just sometimes have more qualities embodied by the culture/society/species/individuals' conventions of beauty and attractiveness

[–] rand_alpha19@moist.catsweat.com 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I think that assumes that a person's attractiveness to a passive observer is equivalent to their attractiveness to their long-term partner. Someone who loves you probably thinks it's cute when your hair is messy, for example.

If you fall out of love, yeah, maybe leave your boyfriend. But if you still love him despite his beer gut and bald patch, maybe that's not a bad thing? Also, all relationships happen on a timeline, lol.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Yeah - husband thinks I am, in his words, "smoking hot" but I think he sees with the eyes of love, not a normal critical eye. I'm confident enough to move around in the world without worrying about looks but no way near "smoking hot", lol.