this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
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Autism
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A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.
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This had me thinking a lot about it.... Damn.
I grew up having to mask within my family who were, and still are, strict traditionalists. Extremely formal, I learned to "hide" myself probably before I was even 10.
I started to express more in my teens in school, but relentless bullying taught me how to mask better. And home was a strict and unforgiving environment alongside.
I'm only starting to discover the trauma I've been causing myself over the last 25+ years.
I can't even express myself freely, in a room by myself, I feel self conscious and a need to "control" myself to fit norms even when I'm the only one in the bloody room. "But what if someone sees me?!?"
Gah, what a mess.