valentinesmith

joined 1 year ago
[–] valentinesmith@lemmy.blahaj.zone -2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I mean okay if I read this in good faith I think you are kind of addressing this weirdly.

You can say something ableist without „meaning to do harm“. It really just is a phrase that has been used in really grotesque fashion in the past and we do live in a context. We might just have a fundamental disagreement on how we think about discourse.

As you have said you could make the same point without using this exact phrase so I firstly don’t believe that your opinion is suppressed on the topic. Secondly I think as able-bodied people sometimes it just is not our right or place to say that language that has hurt marginalised people can be used by us or redeemed for that matter because we just talk about ourselves.

Again yes I think you should be empowered to control your life and the end of it. And there are many ways to say this instead of: Id rather die than be (insert marginalised group).

Maybe as a different minority I can only offer that it just feels icky to me if another group wants to use words that have been used against me because that’s the way they want to express themselves. That’s why I engaged with your question in good faith

[–] valentinesmith@lemmy.blahaj.zone -2 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I would say there is a HUGE difference between saying:

I‘d rather die than be disabled and I‘d rather die than have to live with some disabilities.

The former is really just saying: any disability makes life not worth living and the latter at least acknowledges that there are only a few disabilities you would deign to be „too much“ for you.

But the general problem with this „stance“ I would say is that we are talking about human lives. If we talk about what we would like to eat its kind of whatever. But in this case you are saying that people with (some) disabilities have lives that you say you don’t think are worth living. People with disabilities have gotten killed for this, because abled-bodied people just say what they think and their opinions are seen as more reliable, natural and important.

So yes, I would also say that the phrase is a clearly ableist position. You can argue that it is „just a personal position“ sure, it’s still ableist though and uses the same framework of eugenicists for example. And of course you can still hold that position. But maybe give it a thought on why that is your opinion.

Have you ever listened or talked to different disabled people on their experiences or is this more a gut feeling? Why are you drawing such a hard line? Is this more a perspective on assisted suicide?

I think the Westbank sponsorship was a joke as they follow it up with a surfshark sponsorship. But it was a dicey joke to make

Otherwise nice links!

[–] valentinesmith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 months ago (4 children)

I dunno if I like jumping to mental illness as an explanation for this in reinforcing established and disproven stereotypes

Theres even a hbomberguy video about it, if you wanna invest some hours more on the topic :D

Love this conversation. And I also think it's totally a tricky one.

To me - like flora_explora, 'feeling my own feminity' is reclaiming feelings and aspects of myself that I felt denied, that wouldn't match my ascribed gender.

So maybe that really is the reason, why this phrase does not resonate with you. Nowadays I also perosnally do not think of myself as feminine or masculine and only use those descriptions when I am describing myself to others who do not know me as a shorthand not because I personally ascribe to them. So I haven't thought much about reclaiming feminity or masculinity in a while

[–] valentinesmith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Hadn‘t heard about 15-minute cities before the video but was kinda shocked that ofc it was already viewed as a conspiracy.

Because to me the 15minute city sounds fucking amazing.

Viel Erfolg beim weiteren Lernen! Wenn du es schon so weit geschafft hast, wirst du es bestimmt auch bis zum 1000. Tag schaffen auch wenn ich hoffe dass es eher aus Freude an der Sache passiert und nicht nur wecen deinem OCD.

Und ich habe auch schon öfter gehört, dass mehrere Sprachen gleichzeitig lernen leichter sein soll. Mich hat Chinesisch als tonale Sprache immer eher abgeschreckt aber Spanisch mochte ich auch gerne lernen :)

Now get to work bitch 💅🏾

[–] valentinesmith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 30 points 10 months ago

Thank you for the lovely instance! I have been here since the reddit thing and feel like I wouldn't have stayed with Lemmy if it hadn't been for this lovely instance and the very amazing community you have moderated and fostered.

Thank you for all the hours of work and dedication, it's a huge pleasure with you two at the helm. To another year!

[–] valentinesmith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I think it really goes to show how reality bending it is when so much wealth is concentrated on singular people and that it’s just not healthy for us as a society.

Like even if he was a saint I don’t want any human to have direct control over so many things ESPECIALLY if he was not elected to do so in any capacity.

That he specifically has so many many „views“ on things I do not agree with just makes it that much more egregious

Interesting article!

I haven’t been in a dedicated men only group chat but I can imagine that if you get the right guys in a group it might just be „that easy“. I think it’s a great space to try and model how you want to interact with your peers.

And I’m glad to hear that the author has that support group in his life :)

I personally also find it a bit easier to share heavy topics over texting rather than talking.

 

In this video from 1hr 14min -1hr 25min the topic is how Garnt/Gigguk feels about his expression or rather non-expression of anger.

How he perceives himself as a usually non-angry person but rather perceives feelings of frustration and disappointment. This self-perceived notion gets challenged by Alouk/Dr. K who argues that frustration is a form of anger and it's - at least for me - a very healthy, approachable and nice conversation/podcast in general. It also touches upon other emotions Garnt struggles to publicly show like sadness and crying and how he seemingly dissociates in those high-emotion moments and only really feels emotionally connected with himself when watching anime/media.

I really resonated with this discussion in general because Garnt strikes me as a very self-improvement and self-reflection heavy person and how this "being a bit out of touch with your emotion" can feel like a problem, like you are missing out on stuff. But also on how I (gay man perspective) really felt like no one ever taught me how to express myself in childhood and how I had to claim/work on myself to find ways to articulate my feelings. It's also something I feel deeply sympathetic towards in movies/dramas or media when men struggle to express themselves as that was just very much my experience as well and how liberating it currently feels to feel more confident in having ways of expressing myself physically and verbally.

I'd love to hear from others how perceiving emotions / expressing emotions has went for them. With my straight guy friends I nowadays often feel like they are very willing to express themselves, but it feels like I have to go for the initiative but maybe that's just a lingering gay "man imposter" syndrome for me.

 

I watched a video today talking about common talking points concerning how „the left has failed men“

I would argue F.D argues that while this is often cited as a critique on how „the Left“ is losing young men to right grifters like Tate, Peterson, etc.

He eventually argues that these misogynistic forces are not new and have only been thriving because of economic problems (capitalism yaaay) faced in the present.

As I really like this community I thought I give it a shot to post something. If I should try to give a broader summary of the video please feel free to tell me.

Thanks for reading :)

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