rubythulhu

Hey everyone.

I've been a little swamped in my personal life lately, and when I checked in this week it I've seen a few things that worry me.

Some of you may know that this community is one of the ones that replaced an old subreddit after the api stuff. There were some rules there that aren't so explicit here in our rules. I'll be working on rewriting the rules in our sidebar soon, but I want to make a few rules clear:

1. This community exists to support people questioning their gender. Be kind and respectful if you're going to comment. I've seen some mean, hurtful, or angry comments posted here in the last little bit. Don't bring that energy here, a lot of people come here to get away from hurtfulness. We will remove comments and dm you privately.
2. IT IS NEVER OKAY TO CRACK SOMEONE ELSE'S EGG. Many of you have likely seen the post that inspired this rule clarification and this whole post. I won't link it here, but this isn't just an egg irl rule. genderdysphoria.fyi calls it "The Egg Prime Directive". People need to find and define their own journey. We can tell our own stories, but we cannot dictate the stories of others. This is obviously a zero-tolerance rule, and is definitely ban-worthy. Absolutely not allowed here.
3. Do not invalidate other people's experiences. I've seen this in at least one post, something along the lines of "i don't think this necessarily means anything about gender". Here's i'd like to refer to the rule #1 of !adhd@lemmy.dbzer0.com: (Rule 1). Basically the entirety of this post applies; there are some aspects of questioning your gender that may seem mundane to an outsider. This does not mean that the person who posted this experiences it in the same way as you. And, for some of us, things that felt mundane to us before too took on a whole new and deeper meaning as we found our way on our journeys.
4. We still have a title rule. Please follow it. This is a tradition of egg irl from the reddit days. We could at some point reconsider this rule, but I still believe it is a good one as I summarized in a post here. This one I'm more lenient on. If you break it, I will post in your thread and politely ask you to edit your title, and either forcibly rename it or just remove it only if the author doesn't fix it. In the future, I would like to even automate this part with a bot.

As I said, I will be working on a more official stickied rules post, and updating our sidebar rules to reflect as well, but I felt it important to post these for now. I owe understanding of myself to the original egg irl and I want this to be similarly helpful for other eggs.

All of that said, I'd also like some mod help here. A few things I'd want from potential mods:

1. you have a local lemmy.blahaj.zone account.
2. under that account you have a history of posting here / other lgbtq+ communities positively
3. that if you become a mod, you also make sure to get set up with matrix so you can be in the blahaj.zone matrix's mod chat channel along with me.
4. i'd also prefer cracked eggs only; the mods here should consider themselves protective roosters & mother hens, nurturing and guarding our precious lil eggs <3

Please post here if you'd like to be considered, I will be choosing a couple of mods carefully.

Purpose

This community serves to highlight toxic heteronormativity. This isn't "LGBTQ people hating on straight people", this is "(some) straight people post/say these things and we don't understand why they're celebrating this? this is creepy."

This was formed because when I switched to Lemmy, I missed r/AreTheStraightsOK from reddit.

Examples of content to post here:

• memes about "lol i hate my wife amirite whos with me fellas"
• memes about "haha you can't be happy because you're married, and as a married person myself, i can assure you that we're all trapped in these relationships, LMAO"
• pictures of "omg look at this! my toddler is so hilarious! I've put him in a onesie that says 'mothers, lock up your daughters!' or talking about SUCKING ON TITTIES, or whatever other way i'm putting WHOLESOME sexual content on my baby. BTW did you know that gay people are sexualizing our children BY MERELY EXISTING?"
• etc. any sort of "haha this is funny b/c this is 'normal' for straight people, even if its incredibly fucked up"

Rules

1. Despite the name, this is not an anti-hetero community; "The Straights" in the name is short for "people with confusing, creepy, and unhealthy heteronormative ideas who think it's funny to post those awful opinions". This means:
   • This is EXPLICITLY NOT a Heterophobic or Hetero-hate sub.
   • Heterosexual people ARE EXPLICITLY WELCOME HERE. Plenty of straight people find toxic heteronormativity disgusting as well, and they are absolutely a valid part of this community.
   • It's toxic heteronormativity that we are against, not heterosexual people in general.
2. Be nice and respectful, OR ELSE. This means:
   • any hateful content will be removed.
   • any personal attacks will be removed.
   • any kind of disrespect towards another poster will be removed.
   • this is a zero-tolerance policy.
   • intellectual discussion is OK, but this is not the place to defend toxic heteronormativity. "This is normal because we ALL do this" is almost guaranteed to be an unwelcome statement here.

I'll add more rules if needs be, but if the above isn't common sense to you, that's the first sign you don't belong in this community.