Could we make it Uranus?
quicklime
Let us now palpate this irony.
He's not worth the fuel cost :\
I can't afford fast food anymore. This article must be about the vanishing middle class and above.
Based on the line "welcome to our thirtieth annual airshow", the comic might be about 13-14 years old now.
pretty sure the other replies missed the satire
and that's just the psych side. It's blatantly obvious that in terms of physical health he has one and a half feet in the grave.
I don't know how chainmail-specific your wish is, but there are plenty of weighted blankets for sale. Most of them have thousands of tiny heavy beads sewn into a quilted fabric that keeps them from moving around or bunching up too much. The one I have weighs about 8 lbs in Queen size and it feels, weight-wise, similar to the feeling of having four or five extra blankets on the bed but without all the heat/insulation of doing that.
Now is that better or worse than being raccooned by up to 100 hounds?
The trick is learning not to hate what you live, but to live what you hate.
Oh man, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. That's a pain. Not so bad for the large part of every year when San Francisco is too windy (at least in many neighborhoods) but definitely a problem during these times when the air is still.
We'll find someone, I'm sure.