pixeltree

joined 1 year ago
sorted by: new top controversial old
“Agony” and “Suffering” as Alabama Experiments with Nitrogen Executions in c/news@lemmy.world
“Agony” and “Suffering” as Alabama Experiments with Nitrogen Executions in c/news@lemmy.world
50% survival rate in c/science_memes@mander.xyz
Cyberule Dystopia in c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone
“Agony” and “Suffering” as Alabama Experiments with Nitrogen Executions in c/news@lemmy.world
Not gonna lie, subredditdrama was my favorite place to be during political seasons. This is the first real meal I had in years. in c/reddit@lemmy.world
50% survival rate in c/science_memes@mander.xyz
9 October 2024 in c/cyanideandhappiness@lemm.ee
[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thanks for your kind words.

It's... I can and am choosing not to kill myself. I can't choose to not want to kill myself. I think it's kind of inevitable though, it'll only take one time of things being bad enough for me to not care about hurting those who care about me. More or less just trying to give myself as much time as possible and enjoy what I can while I can.

I don't really have any hope for the future. It's become incredibly clear to me over the past few months that while I can feel better sometimes, nothing actually improves. Things don't improve unless you actively try to improve them, and having tried and failed spectacularly it's apparent that I even if I kept trying, it would be ineffective, and I just can't care enough to keep trying.

I really don't want to keep living, but I choose to anyways, at least until things I get bad I can't choose anymore. I won't hurt my friends and family and I know how I see things and how I feel are different from the reality of my situation. Just eventually, those won't be enough anymore.

9 October 2024 in c/cyanideandhappiness@lemm.ee
[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I... actually did something similar a month ago. Just with a bag. Scary that it's not as bad as I thought it would be, kind of removes one of the barriers discouraging it.

Hacked ‘AI Girlfriend’ Data Shows Prompts Describing Child Sexual Abuse in c/technology@lemmy.world
This rule made me feel things. in c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Rule in c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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Petplay memes are just cute tbh (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
 
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Wuff :3 (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
 
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This post hit me like a bus (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/femcelmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone
26 comments fedilink
 

Shame I can't get hit by an actual bus

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Timeline Questions (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
7 comments fedilink
 

Hey all, as I've been thinking about who I want to be and how I want to transition, I've gotten to wondering about people's transition timelines in general. If it's something you're comfortable talking about, how long did it take you from realizing your trans to taking steps to transition? When did you start using different pronouns, when did you come out to people, how long did it take you to know you wanted HRT and then to start it?

I realized I wasn't cis a few months ago, and have been growing my hair out and experimenting with clothing. I know I want to get permanent facial hair removal, and am interested in HRT but have reservations, and would value hearing others experiences about how long it took them to know what they wanted. I'm a very hesitant and self-doubtful person in general, and I guess just feel a bit lost in how to go about self discovery here.

Editing to say thank you very much all for sharing, seeing how different everyone's experiences can be is honestly really comforting.

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"Why can't you ever be on time?" Tom said belatedly. (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
462
"What's your gender?" "Well..." (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
 
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Butt full, head empty (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
 
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Which of us is gonna get set off first? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
 
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Any chance direct messages will be supported any time soon? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
 

It's the major thing holding me back from buying ad free. Trying to view dms instantly crashes the app and it's very frustrating.

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Stopped being able to be in denial on friday... (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
 

and this popped into my head. As a friend said, it's confusing and scary but ignoring just makes you feel more confused and scared, and that's so accurate.

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cute aggression intensifies (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
 
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Would you rather be bregnant or gregnant? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
 
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