Brother, let me try and help you out.
Next time you're in the supermarket stocking up on frozen pizzas, get your self a packet of grated pizza cheese, and some extra sliced ham, and / or fresh peppers. Pile on the extra cheese, ham, and slice up the peppers if you decided on those, put it in the oven as usual, but for a few minutes extra.
The overdose of cheese, and extra flavours will have you feeling a lot better!
"Ah, Tyrone. You silly fat bastard."