PsychrolutesMarcidus

TW: RACISM, TRANSFOBIA, RAPE

spoiler

I used to have a gay friend. From what I was feeling he didn't care about pronouns, but I feel like he would like to transition. Anyway we were hanging out with him and couple other friends, and talking about stuff. The friend told about how in his queer discord group chat someone was telling that they are not feeling safe around black people and was calling them n-word.

It feels so weird to me. Like, queer people know what's the oppression should feel like. And that slurs are bad. At first it was really surprising that a minority of one group would use the slur on another.

And the other one is even more depressing. I have a female friend. And she was grouped by a black man. And she also feels okay to use n-word as a way to guard herself or something. And she also was raped by my non binary friend. We are not friends anymore. But I still respect their pronouns. Female friend used to use wrong pronouns on them. Honestly everything after that was a mess. She turned hostile to enby friend and their friends. I thought it was all jokes, but it is so har to read tones in text. Only later, after I found out, it was not jokes. They now don't talk. Enby friend didn't apologize according to her. And from what I heard from enby friend it seems like they actually forgot to do it. She is now blocked by them cuz she would send toxic messages to them. Fast forward two years and she tells me she doesn't believe in "gender theory" and thinks it should be treated like mentall illness. And she says that if she finds good resources, she can change her mind. But fuck. She is bisexual. Shouldn't she also know about struggle of trans people??? Maybe with good persuasion I could change her mind. But like... I am so tired. It feels like we are in the same group, no? lgBTq stands even together. What I am trying to say is that there are bigots, shouldn't we stand together against bigotry?

What I am trying to say is that I am just confused. Opression is bad, shouldn't we satnd together against it? It feels so confusing when we don't.

Idk. Sorry can't find the right words to end this. Did anyone met something similar?

My mom asked how to wash the yellow marks from white t-shirt and it took me too long to find the answer. I guess it was also on me because I forgot to put it in Projects folder. After I will clean my t shirts I think to put it in AREA folder. It will be the first :)

Feeling a little bit intimidated by the amount of stuff my basb needs to consume to be valuable for me

Put my first project in Archive, hoooray 🥳🥳🥳 I know it's not good, but I am a person, who needs inspiration to start doing a task. Like I randomly think what I want to do today and start doing it. Creating a list of things to do tomorrow never worked for me. But now I have a list of 16(+2) projects and can choose randomly between them.

It was really hard to find note taking app, that fits my needs. Obsidian is great, but I have problems with obsidian sync at the moment. Evernote is still iffy, cuz even frontpage is monetized, I can't change anything unless I pay. Wtf. Anyway, I am happy that i can create folders in 2 levels. But it's not the usual way of creating folder inside of a folder. You create notebook, which then can be put inside different stacks. Feels like a hack. So you can have PARA stacks, where you shift notebooks back and forth. Right now I only have Projects folder 😅. But honestly I already feel easier. I am not holding ideas for projects (not only ones like write summary of an article but also planning dates) in my "first'' brain, and it's such a relief. Can wait when I finish some projects and will need an Archive stack(folder).

That's a big struggle for me. When I was learning about Zettelkasten, the idea of immediatly writing in your own words the summary of a chapter feels daunting. What if I use the wrong words and wouldn't understand later? What I want is to have notes from the book and then use them to write summary maybe in a week after reading a chapter. I can't just do it immediately. What do you think are some good ways to aproach telling in your own words?