PawjamaParty

joined 1 year ago
[–] PawjamaParty@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As a person who has their BPD under control so well that my psychologist doesn't feel fully comfortable diagnosing me with it anymore, seeing stuff about how be need to be avoided still hurts, a lot. I've put in the work, I've never missed an appointment with my current psychologist, I do my best to keep myself stable, and to not hurt others or myself, but I feel like I can never escape this diagnosis. I feel obligated to tell any romantic partners that I have BPD, only for it to be used against me. No matter what I do, I'll always be branded by this, even if I haven't exhibited symptoms for years. I feel like I'll either have to lie to people, or tell them truth and walk on eggshells, afraid that any negative emotion will make them think I'm insane, abusive, or crazy. I just want to live a healthy and happy life.

[–] PawjamaParty@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Mint ftw!

I've loved mint ever since I first tried it. An OS that actually does what I want it to do. My only complaint with mint is that it works so well that I keep forgetting the console commands and have to look them up when I do need them. Thinking about installing suicide linux on an old laptop and learning the hard way lol.

[–] PawjamaParty@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I can only speak for myself, but as a gamer I don't have a lot of complaints with gaming on linux. If most of your games are on steam they should work fine on linux thanks to proton (and steamdeck too). Sure, if you play a lot of multiplayer games where the anti-cheat doesn't tolerate linux, then staying on windows is understandable. Outside of steam, there are other launchers, lutris and heroic, for example.

I'm personally still dual booting, because one game that I played still doesn't work on linux, but as I don't play that game anymore nor have I booted to windows in like 6 months, I might as well get rid of windows once and for all.

[–] PawjamaParty@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Pretty much sums up my life rn, and I wish it didn't...

[–] PawjamaParty@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

I've returned to reddit a few times, mostly to just get an answer to a question I was trying to look up. But a few days ago I did make a new account, because I was feeling lonely and wanted to try and make new internet friends, and as far as I know, lemmy doesn't yet have those penpal/chat/make friend communities. I had forgotten how ass the new account experience on reddit is, and how ass reddit itself is. I couldn't get the verification email (tho that could have been due to trying to use a temporary email), posts got auto deleted due to account age and low karma, and random email and cookie popups that kept coming back. When one post miraculously did get posted (despite automod telling me it was deleted lol) and I got chat requests, I couldn't even reply to people! I tried accepting the request, but kept getting an error. At this point I'm not sure if it is an actual error, or just reddit restricting new accounts from chatting, even if they are the ones the chat is sent to...

I get that these are used to combat bots, but is it actually working? Mostly it's just hurting people who legitimately want to join and enjoy the site. The karma requirements also bring in their own problems, like subreddits just focused on farming karma so that users can finally take part in the conversations they came for in the first place.

I think people will get tired of the horrible new account creation and experience on reddit and look for alternatives. Lemmy seems to be more privacy orientated and without silly internet points anybody with a new account can immediately jump in on the action without restrictions, for better or worse.

[–] PawjamaParty@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I'm definitely lonely, and also depressed over how life has gone for the past months. I don't have much to celebrate. I don't really think of him that fondly tbh. I do always remember the hurt that was caused, even more than the good stuff, but under there is just the feeling of comfort, belonging, and something close to love.

[–] PawjamaParty@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Anyone else experience getting over someone and then just randomly falling back into that heartbreak randomly months later? His voice echoes in my head, I'm desperately trying to remember what he looked like, I miss the jokes we had... I wish things would have gone differently. If I could have just held on, things could have sorted themselves out and I could be happy right now. Instead I'm just lonely.

[–] PawjamaParty@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

You're welcome! I hope you find a good balance again, and wish you luck on your project. :)

And thank you.

[–] PawjamaParty@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It can be difficult, but could you try and trust your friends a bit more? Kinda test the waters with being unavailable to them for some periods of time. Or maybe dedicate a bit more time for your friends? Personal projects can sometimes spiral out of control and you can become obsessed over them, I myself am working on a project as well, and sometimes I work on it unhealthy amounts. Think of what you want and need in life. Is it more time dedicated to work or school or projects? Or would you rather develop relationships and chill with friends? Or something completely different?

I don't know you, and I'm also not a professional in this field (or any field tbh), so I don't mean to come off like I know what is best for you or what you should do. I can only make assumptions based on your post and try to offer some advice. And it is of course up to you what you will do with your life. I would like to ask; do you think you might be sinking in too much time and effort into this project? It is completely valid if it's something you want to do, but you might have to choose between the project and some (hopefully not all!) friends. Maybe you can find the right balance, so that you can keep both. Would it be possible to include your friends in this project? Even just something as small as asking their opinion on something? Or maybe find help from someone else so you wouldn't have to work so much on it yourself.

The situation your friend is in sounds toxic. My parents were always super chill, and now I've been an adult for over a decade, so I've forgotten how the few rules I actually had felt like. I think the only advice to that I have is to just be firm, but understanding with her. Set clear boundaries, but also be there for her when you're able to. You could be a friend that is, maybe a bit distant, but always there if shit really hits the fan.

In the end, do what makes you happy, but remember that social life is also important. We are social creatures, even the most introverted of us. I really wish I would have done things differently and been able to keep some friendships. I'm extremely lonely, even more so now that I had to stop working. I'm stuck in my house, too sick to move somedays, and I don't have a lot of people to talk to. If I lived alone and were to collapse one day, it could take like a week for anyone to really miss me. It's not the worst, there are people who don't have anyone. Just whatever you do in life, don't end up like me.

[–] PawjamaParty@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Sometimes I just feel too tired to talk to some of my friends, but I feel too bad saying it to them, so I just take my time replying. I try not to wait for too long, but as I'm now really struggling with a chronic illness, it might take days to get back some days. I've been honest about this with my friends tho, so they'll know and are understanding.

We all need some time for ourselves, doesn't matter if one has an illness, something going on in their lives, introvert, or whatever. It is completely normal and acceptable to just not want to hang out or talk with someone.

Although I understand your friend not wanting to wait for a reply (especially if she's feeling lonely, maybe even depressed, or just needs someone to talk to for any reason or none at all), it is unreasonable to expect people to just drop everything and be there for her.

Having boundaries is definitely healthy, and I don't think you're in the wrong here (not that your friends are either, tho again, her line about not liking to wait does make her sound selfish). I don't know if you've talked with your friends about this, how you need a bit more time for yourself sometimes. If you haven't, maybe that could be a start...

[–] PawjamaParty@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes, because meeting people online is convenient, sometimes more realistic than meeting people irl, and sometimes it's the only viable option to meet people, and because tinder is used pretty much everywhere and by a lot of people, it's a better option than other dating sites/apps.

It's a fucking shit app to finding a life partner due to people leaving their bios empty, and a good number of people looking for short term fun, so finding a long term partner comes down to luck.

[–] PawjamaParty@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Of course everybody can learn, but is anyone teaching them? I'm a millennial, I grew up with computers, but I had to learn a lot of things the hard way because it was just expected that we'd somehow become experts without anyone teaching us. We weren't told about cybersecurity, or how to troubleshoot issues, I had to learn all those things by myself. And learning to troubleshoot and other more technical things I only learned because I'm actually interested in computers. Many of my peers aren't, and so don't know even the most basic things.

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