Leilys

> I'm in my 40s and I'm retroactively angry about my life.

I'm a lot younger, but I can relate. It feels like we've been robbed of a much better life we could've had, had we known sooner.

Medication really made a huge difference in my quality of performance in life. No more embarrassement about being unable to help dozing off in meetings and looking like a fool. I've microslept at the wheel several times before and medications completely eliminated that. It's the only way I'd reasonably trust myself to do long outstation drives.

Although, I do have a story about the first small road trip I did with my partner after being prescribed. 3h drive both ways, and both times I only remembered that I was supposed to take my medication (on an empty stomach) halfway into my meals. I still made the drive with support, but it was a lot tougher than it needed to be, lol.

I make a lot of jokes about medication since I take it now but I do have an underlying fear of developing substance addictions, so I'd like to look into psychotherapy to develop even more unmedicated life management skills when I can afford it.

Gosh, I can relate with the depression though. I think struggling with symptoms of ADHD pushed me into depression. I used to have outbursts and crying meltdowns as a teenager, but it stopped when I went into university and met supportive friends. But my mood cycles and occasionally I can get very fixated on negative thoughts that will just drain me and ruin my day. Been considering medication, talked to my psychiatrist (who also has ADHD and understands) about it, but haven't started yet.

If you're not always on medication, like me, I try to actively do a few things:

1. Set things up for yourself. Think of future you like a separate person you're trying to help out.

I generally have problems with going to bed on time (it's still 2:30am, but I'm working on it...), and I realised that I could go to bed more immediately if I brushed my teeth when I took my shower so I wouldn't get into task paralysis doomscrolling on my bed and either staying up way too late or falling asleep with bad oral hygiene.

Other things is like putting out the laundry basket in the middle of your path the night before so it's easier to grab it and bring it over to the washing machine the next morning. I use Google assistant to set a timer now so I'm more likely to remember to hang the clothes out to dry. It's not perfect, but I've at least had to rewash my clothes less due to me forgetting.

2. Setting a timer and time limit to do a thing.

There's still that agony of "oh god I have to do a thing", but on days you really need to get small (but seemingly insurmountable) tasks done, I make a list of all the tasks I need to do, write a number next to the task in the order I have to do it, and then note down roughly how long it takes to do something.

Then, I set the timer, and set it to count down. It provides just a little additional push to start doing things, even if it's an absolute slog.

P.S. could you tell me more about how your task paralysis and workaholism would impact you? That seems quite interesting

My partner was also the one who suggested that might have ADHD. It sort of made sense to at least try since I'd been struggling with being "normal" since I was about 8, so I gave it a shot.

So I got diagnosed last year as an adult. Getting diagnosed doesn't immediately change anything (well, no shit), but it can help you be better informed when developing systems to make your life more functional.

For example, having things you need to do a task close by on hand. By having a small trash can on my desk, compared to just a bigger bin on the other side of my room, I no longer pile up trash on my desk forever before throwing it away once I run out of room.

In regards to medication, if you've managed to make it this far and hold down a job like me, you're likely to be prescribed some short acting medication to start for days you really need to get things done.

I have inattentive type ADHD and I take Ritalin 10mg only on days I need to either get a lot of work done, or when I have long meetings to attend because I struggle to stay awake when I'm unengaged.

Before this was all suggested to me, I honestly thought I was narcoleptic because I was always such a sleepy person when I'm bored. It took having a mutual friend get diagnosed for my partner to realise similarities, and then me getting diagnosed to realise that the friends I attract tend to be "different" themselves.

My parents continue to refuse to acknowledge that I'm anything but neurotypical, which had made my younger years a lot harder than I wished it could've been.

The diagnosis just helped me be more aware about the specific challenges I have to face, like task paralysis, or the compulsive filling in I do when a friend pauses too long in the middle of a sentence, or how I struggle to remember things when I get distracted. The ADHD was always a part of you, but now you can find life hack tips that actually work!

Best wishes, from a fellow late-diagnosed person :)

How is your experience with the framework? I've been eyeing it as my next upgrade but it is a bit pricy so I'm saving up for it at the moment.

Looking at the pricing for the Framework 16 (prebuilt with Windows, to benchmark), it's just under x2 the price of the Acer Nitro 5 my partner bought last year with a 3050. Not the worst proposition assuming most of the laptop's components make it 10 years and the only upgrades/replacements are to CPU, GPU and battery.

The main concern is longevity since it's a relatively new company. It needs early adopters to commit that initial investment and pay the extra now for the company to survive and scale, and it needs staying power and time in the market in order to attract more confidence and convert sales.

I would like to see it succeed since my personal goal is to just reduce the e-waste I contribute as a heavy tech user. Laptops are just e-waste walking at the moment so I think any reduction to throwing out the whole thing every time it starts to fall behind current developments is good.

Awareness is growing and there is a demand. We just have to see if the demand is great enough to push user repairability in tech.

I have been following the developments for Framework, and really hope the modular design for laptops will go the way of the usb in adoption throughout the industry. We could benefit from less becoming e-waste.

In some countries that have lower currencies, a AAA game (like Cyberpunk) on PC or a Switch game (think Pokémon) can cost up to 5 days of minimum wage, even with some regional pricing.

Piracy makes gaming somewhat affordable since PCs may be available through cheaper 2nd hand markets and can be used for other purposes besides gaming.

Yeah, coming from a similar country, buying a Nintendo switch game would cost roughly 3 to 4 days of minimum wage, before tax.

Steam does go a long way to making indie games a lot more affordable though, but AAA games can still cost an absolute bomb. For hobbyists, having only subscription options for software like Photoshop is just too expensive to pay for when they make no income.

Based on the coverage I've seen and what I understand, likely there would be a new motherboard and larger base to house bigger parts and the screen would be maintained.

I do believe they'll be able to achieve the goal of making laptop lifespans last beyond 10 years, which is why we'd like ways to upgrade. I'm cautiously optimistic about developments here.

I learned to crack open my laptop shell and replace the battery, which saved me 30 bucks when capacity was dead and I was getting a spicy pillow in the works.

My model had an easily searchable servicing guide, and I'd followed it to replace the thermal paste as well. That being said, I am looking for a future replacement as it no longer runs some indie games I have and there's no way to upgrade its internals to newer standards. My dear laptop is future e-waste, as it pains me to say.

This industry needs to go back to focus on repairability. It would push for more sustainable part and product designs, which has become a big factor in purchase consideration lately.

I enjoy top down stealth games, and haven't seen this game get discussed much, but it was pretty fun - Serial Cleaner (and sequel, Serial CleanerS)

You play a guy who cleans up murder scenes for an unknown serial killer, all the while evading guards and other security measures. It's a pretty fun experience, and I do recommend giving it a go if that's your kind of thing.

There's also the Marvelous Miss Take, a game where you play a woman on a mission to perform a series of heists. Also a top down stealth game, you get to use some gadgets to distract guards while you sneak past and to your goal.

Both are older indie games, but enjoyable for at least one playthrough.