LegionEris

joined 1 year ago
MODERATOR OF
[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 1 points 1 year ago

I upvoted you. I asked for experiences. I was hoping for success stories, but I came into this understanding that most people don't have them. If literally nobody on Lemmy but me had a good polyamory story, that would be valid and wouldn't discourage me.

[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 3 points 1 year ago

I actually consider myself a selfish person. But I experience huge amounts of compersion. It makes me so happy when good things happen to the people I care about. It's selfish of me to want more than one partner and to revel in my wife's other relationship. But I'll be damned if senseless or traditional moralizing is going to stop me from being or making people happy.

[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 3 points 1 year ago

Omg yes. This is the primary discussion of polyamory, and it drives me crazy. None of that common description looks like my life.

[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I should really think more about compersion. It's an idea that I think and talk about frequently, but it's a term my brain hasn't yet held for the long term. But I have huge amounts of compersion. I get so excited when good things happen to the people I care about. Our polyamory thrives on how happy it makes me to see my wife in that happy, lovey way with someone. I am just as delighted that my best friend was recently promoted to AM as I am that I was promoted to key lead with her. Compersion is a big part of my life that I should give more space and respect to express itself.

[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

DO NOT ADD ANOTHER PERSON BECAUSE OF YOUR FAILING RELATIONSHIP

It's insane to me that this apparently must be said by multiple people with massive emphasis. We only considered this because our relationship was and still is so strong. We just met really young and have a lot of love to give. I don't want to lose my wife or have had only one great romance in my life. She didn't want marrying a woman to mean she would never experience men again. So we share the incredible bounty of love in which we live.

[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I could see how it could just exaggerate the typical "time flies when you're having fun" experience, but that's not it for me. I genuinely love my job with everything in me. Yesterday was a great day in the time vortex. Both of my best friends work Fridays, and I enjoyed perceiving extra time with them.

[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 1 points 1 year ago

Well I tend to avoid anything too stimulating in terms of cannabis because it makes me anxious. But this is even just a small amount of plain thc without terps or minor cannabinoids. Hell, the H4CBD I've been mixing in with my CBG to elevate my mood has incredibly minor effects compared to thc, and it still does it sometimes.

[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It didn't involve the assistant manager of a cheap motel, did it? I guess if you were the person I know who had that experience, you'd probably recognize my name and story.

[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We opened up an existing relationship, but it was more my idea for her to have a boyfriend. I knew she romanticized affairs and infidelity. I knew that her experience of being with a man romantically and physically is meaningfully different from how we are together. And I've just never been that sort of possessive, so I encouraged her to seek out something I couldn't give her

[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 6 points 1 year ago

People already suck at handling a single relationship so statistically handling more is just significantly more difficult

I guess that's a fair point. My wife and I were the stable thing in each other's lives for years before this started. We have a love that can't be stopped and have navigated more together than most couples ever will. Neither of us would have considered a second partner if we thought it could have weakened our foundational relationship. That is what has freed us to have these experiences.

[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 2 points 1 year ago

So called "deli style" dispensaries do exist, but at least in Missouri it is a much steeper application and permitting process. If weed only had alcohol style sales restrictions, it would be everywhere. But weed is scary so they make a bunch of rules to make themselves feel safer.

[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 2 points 1 year ago

My wife and I are serious arts and entertainment people. We watch a lot of stuff--new and old, good and bad, any and all lengths. We met on a forum for the Dark Tower books, and experiencing and discussing art together has always been important to us. So carefully selecting and occasionally rotating paid services is a whole thing for us.

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