Jojowski

2 x 5 I'd guess, hard to see but that shifter box seems to have to knobs and the right one has 5 marks

This july I finally realized that I have no choice but consciously change the ways I think and react to things. There has been plenty of difficult things in my life the last couple of years and after experiencing a burnout (again, I understood afterwards it's not the first time but hasn't been this bad before) this summer I had to look myself in the mirror and decide to start making changes, things can't go on like this anymore, I can't keep on living like this anymore. It's sad that it seems often these realizations only come when one hits the bottom in a way or another.

I've been to a 3-year therapy and tried meds and so on, I'm sure they "paved the path" but didn't help me comprehend why I have these troubles that I have and didn't give me the understanding/empathy towards myself and others that is needed to actually change the thought and reaction models that are problematic, especially anger and shame issues.

Anyways I've been looking at videos on youtube about CPTSD and they have helped me a lot. Especially I find Tim Fletcher's videos useful as he thoroughly looks into the underlying issues and different ways CPTSD shows up in people, just the facts as they are. He's kind of an old school lecturer type guy, nothing fancy and shiny (needs to be taken with a grain of salt though as he doesn't seem to have understanding on ADHD/autism and has religious aspects in some of his videos).

Of course being recently diagnosed with ADHD gives more light to why I'm the way I am. But now I've been able to start to work on my stuff from a different angle and it seems to take an effect! A difficult and rocky path but I suppose the first steps are the hardest.

Hey OP I wanted to thank you for the playlist again, it has become my favorite and I truly enjoy the overall mood and well thought order of songs! I listen to it fairly often and have recommended to others as well. I tried to PM my thanks but the app keeps crashing 😅

Heard from a friend who has an autism diagnosis that after getting it some health care people started treating them in a "custodial" way, as if they were simple or had problems understanding, doctors wouldn't listen to them and so on. For example it might make it more difficult to get help with mental health issues because "it's just the autism". I told my psychiatrist that I'm aware of such and they kind of agreed that this can happen.

Nah, that's just their jousting lance

This is what my psychiatrist kinda told me between the lines when I told them I suspect AuDHD. I would like to * know *, just to have an explanation to some things ADHD diagnosis alone doesn't explain. But the autism diagnosis might cause more harm than good - as I don't have severe problems related to those traits, so it would be unlikely to get any help but for example might encounter discrimination in health care etc...

Feels.

Also: Under-stimulated -> anxiety -> Have To Do Something, Anxiety Driving Me Nuts-> DO ALL THE THINGS -> stress!! -> stimulation burst because of stress -> overwork -> over-stimulated -> burnout -> depression -> under-stimulated

The neurospice flows strong in this one

Two plus two is four, minus one that's three QUICK MATHS! -Roadman Shaq

My mom and her husband were checking out a flat and the real estate agent had their fly open. After that they'd refer to her as "the fly-open" and remind each other of that person every now and then. I wasn't there yet I remember the case. So I give you second generation memory of an awkward person!

That object, my friend, is me.

Thanks! We will, there have been several reindeer on the road or in the ditch nearby so need to stay focused!

I find it easier to make friends with people that are also on the spectrum and then other stuff comes on top of it, rather than trying to find friends through a shared interest and then trying to adjust to normies strange way of being 😅 (although it seems that many of my friends that I made through a shared interest in the first place later turned out to be on the spectrum...)