DaaftRaaft

joined 1 year ago
[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 7 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I can talk to animals

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But you become extremely jaded and disappointed in anyone younger than yourself, overcome with än irredeemable urge to tell people to pull themselves up by their bootstraps

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But it also has no speed limit, causing items you pull around to reach light speed almost instantly, effectively growing to infinite size for the duration of the pull

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 17 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Ads are blocked for me in real life. Billboards, posters, tv-commercials, all gone!

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

All my bodily functions smells nice, sort of perfume-like.

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 6 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I have a set of mental buttons i can press which lets me instantly fix some common flaws of being a human:

  • fall asleep
  • stop humming a song stuck in my head
  • stop feeling light headaches
  • postpone hunger for 3 hours
  • shut of tinnitus
  • make the itching stop
[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Mosquitos that drink my blood instantly die

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 13 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I can jump 10x my own height and can stick to walls

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Lets say, they grow to full ripe size every day

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I can see dead people

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 6 points 1 year ago

But you have to lie everytime you communicate

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 8 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Seeds i plant always grow to the full size plant in a day.

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