this post was submitted on 27 May 2024
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Local Mom’s Wine Club Cleverly Disguised as a Book Club, Fools No One But Themselves (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by tattletaletimes@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
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In a quiet suburban neighborhood where minivans outnumber streetlights, a group of women have been ingeniously disguising their love of wine as a book club. While their intentions may be transparent to everyone else, these winos insist that their guise is a stroke of genius. “It’s a sophisticated literary club that explores classic as well contemporary novels, okay? We don’t have a wine problem. We can stop anytime we want!” said club president, Charlotte Chardonnay, as she poured herself another glass of Merlot. “We appreciate literature just as much as we appreciate a glass of wine filled to the brim. Why not combine the two?”

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[–] BruceTwarzen@kbin.social 39 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Is day drinking slowly but surely becoming a problem? On tinder, wine seems to be the most important thing for most women i see. Or at least in the top 3. A lot of women have like 4 pictures and holding wine in three of them. A lot can not comprehend that i never drink at all.

[–] Allonzee@lemmy.world 30 points 5 months ago

Between all the crises threatening civilization, I'd say the only problem is if the wine runs out.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 28 points 5 months ago (2 children)

If anything, it's an unaddressed symptom of suburban life since long before either of us were born. My aunt, for instance, went full trad wife in the 90s and her schedule is mostly morning jog, wine, TV, wine, fight with her husband, wine, bed. Must be a bottle a day at least.

I heard in the 50s it was even worse with valium abuse but rather than call it a problem, I think symptom is more apt since life isn't very rewarding or exciting when you're trapped in suburbia and chained to your husband.

Hey at least in the fictional world of the onion, these women are drinking together and not alone.

[–] flicker@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago

I don't know why you're getting downvoted. Alcoholics in denial skyrocketed during the pandemic, only with a cutesy veneer of "wine moms" and the like.

[–] protist@mander.xyz 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I don't know where you get that this is a suburban thing, alcoholism in the US was more rampant in the 19th and very early 20th century than it has been since. You might read up on Prohibition

[–] vividspecter@lemm.ee 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

A lot less women drank back then from what I understand (and similarly it was women that led the movement against alcohol). Even in the mid to late 20th century the gender bias was toward men, but it's pretty close to 50/50 in this century.

Whether suburbia independently increased alcohol consumption amongst women is another question, and so you'd need to compare drinking levels between different locations.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

It's only a problem when I run out 🤪 (or the neighbors dogs over (again))

[–] kwebb990@lemmy.world 28 points 5 months ago (1 children)

guilty as charged 😐

[–] Karyoplasma@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 5 months ago

Your sentence consists of bringing a higher-than-usually priced bottle of wine from the top shelf on the next occasion. This post is legally binding and enforceable.

[–] kellyaster@lemmy.world 16 points 5 months ago

Women wistfully holding glasses of wine together. So hot right now

[–] LordBelphegor@lemm.ee 10 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Ai gen art

[–] tattletaletimes@lemmy.world 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)

For sure, I couldn't find a free stock photo that matched what I wanted so I went with Bing Creator and I thought this looked nice.

[–] MinusPi@pawb.social 1 points 5 months ago

Yep. I got a very similar result using almost the exact title as the prompt.

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run 7 points 5 months ago

Why not both?

[–] Notthemama@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

Oh no! I'm found out!😆

[–] BolexForSoup@kbin.social -5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

boomer humor with a millennial after taste