this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2024
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Just wanted to let y'all know: you can't kidnap seagulls from a parking lot. (sopuli.xyz)
submitted 7 months ago by SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz to c/michigan@midwest.social
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Seagulls are protected under the "Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918". This means that it is illegal to capture, kill, or keep a seagull in your home (unless you have a special permit).

So, no: you cannot go into the Meijer parking lot, yoink a seagull from the flock, and take it home.

This PSA has been brought to you by an argument with my son during a grocery pick-up.

Thank you.

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[–] WhereGrapesMayRule@lemmy.world 53 points 7 months ago (7 children)

So unfair. Meanwhile, if a flock of seagulls picks you up and flies away with you, there are no legal consequences for them whatsoever.

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 20 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Almost happened to me once, but then I ran. I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day.

[–] WhereGrapesMayRule@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

It's not so bad, really. From up here, Aurora borealis comes in view

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 18 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I understand that this is upsetting, as I know many Michigan residents who have lost loved ones in the Seagull Wars.

However, seagull deterrents are legal, as long as it does not directly harm the birds themselves.

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

So unfair. Meanwhile, if a flock of seagulls picks you up and flies away with you, there are no legal consequences for them whatsoever.

A human would probably be too heavy for a flock of seagulls to fly away with. They'd be more likely to run so far away with you.

[–] BleakBluets@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)

A human would probably be too heavy for a flock of seagulls to fly away with.

Perhaps too heavy for Herring Gulls, but they could be carried by Great Black-Backed Gulls.

[–] Rozz@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 7 months ago

Perhaps if they were to put you on a line between them

[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

I really feel there’s a coconut joke in here somewhere

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Not entirely true. In bird culture, that is considered a dick move.

[–] dumpsterlid@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Unless the seagulls pick you up in a giant ass peach with the intention of freeing you from an abusive parent.

[–] llamapants@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

However, if A Flock of Seagulls picked you up and took off with you, there WOULD be legal consequences.

[–] Infynis@midwest.social 5 points 7 months ago

This is their land, we just moved here

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Well, I'd like to see anyone stop me, cuz my living room full of seagulls begs to differ.

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 4 points 7 months ago

When the feds come to your door, they're gonna hear all those seagulls.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 9 points 7 months ago (2 children)

What if they poke you in the coconut?

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 3 points 7 months ago

That counts as consent.

[–] theodewere@kbin.social 2 points 7 months ago

then the coconut has a pretty good case and should call a lawyer

[–] dingus182@endlesstalk.org 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This entire post has been a wonderful read. Thank you all, for the good work you do.

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 3 points 7 months ago

You're welcome. Happy to contribute useful knowledge to the community. 👍

[–] anachronist@midwest.social 4 points 7 months ago

Bird law in this country is not governed by reason.

[–] cobra89@beehaw.org 4 points 7 months ago (5 children)

There's nothing protecting pigeons though right? What about Canadian geese?

[–] RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 7 months ago

If you manage to wrestle Canadian geese into submission you might as well get to keep it.

[–] survivalmachine@beehaw.org 3 points 7 months ago

What about Canadian geese?

Regular geese with Canadian citizenship enjoy no special protections. Canada geese are protected, though if you've ever encountered one, you'd know that the protection is more for you than them.

[–] archomrade@midwest.social 2 points 7 months ago

You don't mess with Canada Gooses. Those are Canada's fuckin' gooses.

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 1 points 7 months ago

Messing with Canada Geese is illegal.

Taking pigeons is apparently fine, as long as they do not belong to anyone else.

[–] Bo7a@lemmy.ca 3 points 7 months ago

This law brought to you by the seagullmen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lNqicJOvR8

[–] jayrodtheoldbod@midwest.social 2 points 7 months ago

They can absolutely kidnap you though