"But what is a good guy? A passable guy? How low is the bar? I scoff and tell my friend that at this point, he must only keep it in his pants unless asked, say please and thank you, show up on time, be funny and kind, and maybe play guitar. So, he is a neutered Labrador with a rhythm section, basically? If he is able to come to at least half the meetings at academic institutions, or family functions, and not be threatening or an out-and-out rapist he’s good to go. Cooked! Finished! Created! Credits rolling.
Are our standards that low, or are we just tiring of setting them at all?"
I feel like he's missing the point here. The men who can meet the standards above understand you have to put in effort, and therefore meet the low bar of possibly being someone who can adapt to being with another person.
It's also incredibly common for young guys to stumble through life day to day, and those guys haven't necessarily developed or demonstrated the skills of being in a relationship. Possibly even scoff at the idea that it requires skills.