The Onion

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The Onion

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Israel Assures It Doing Everything Possible To Minimize Civilians (www.theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by RobotToaster@mander.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

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[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 76 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The Onion is doing what 'real' media should've been doing.

[–] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago

I thought the news was a tragedy, now I realize it’s a fucking comedy.

[–] Lath@kbin.social 48 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That's a good play on words.

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@kbin.social 6 points 9 months ago

Bruh I just realized.

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 20 points 9 months ago

“Let me be clear: Our war is against Hamas. We have explicitly instructed our commanders that they should take pains so there are as few innocent men, women, and children in Gaza as humanly possible.”

Brutal. Well done, Onion writers

[–] maniacalmanicmania@aussie.zone 18 points 9 months ago

🤌

[–] Guillermo@sh.itjust.works 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

1.15% of the population already died. Not all of them civilians.

[–] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 27 points 9 months ago

"We've only killed 27.000 people so we're the good guys, you see."

[–] eatthecake@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)

It's

[–] lolcatnip@reddthat.com 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

It's not a mistake. Omitting "be" verbs is a common convention in headlines. They're just imitating the style of major newspapers.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Monty Python's Flying Circus!