The Onion

4504 readers

914 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

443

Israel Assures It Doing Everything Possible To Minimize Civilians (www.theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by RobotToaster@mander.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

11 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 11 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 76 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The Onion is doing what 'real' media should've been doing.

[–] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago

I thought the news was a tragedy, now I realize it’s a fucking comedy.

[–] Lath@kbin.social 48 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That's a good play on words.

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@kbin.social 6 points 9 months ago

Bruh I just realized.

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 20 points 9 months ago

“Let me be clear: Our war is against Hamas. We have explicitly instructed our commanders that they should take pains so there are as few innocent men, women, and children in Gaza as humanly possible.”

Brutal. Well done, Onion writers

[–] maniacalmanicmania@aussie.zone 18 points 9 months ago

🤌

[–] Guillermo@sh.itjust.works 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

1.15% of the population already died. Not all of them civilians.

[–] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 27 points 9 months ago

"We've only killed 27.000 people so we're the good guys, you see."

[–] eatthecake@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)

It's

[–] lolcatnip@reddthat.com 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

It's not a mistake. Omitting "be" verbs is a common convention in headlines. They're just imitating the style of major newspapers.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Monty Python's Flying Circus!