Manned space exploration gets set back by decades as overly cautious medical advisors try to figure out the cause of hair loss in astronauts.
The Monkey's Paw
Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*
Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.
^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^
Hair loss, eh.
Macular degeneration on the other hand :(
Every living creature, from the smallest protists to large elephants, grows lush facial hair. Creatures spend a large part of their days trying to trim it down only for it to grow again.
Since hair takes 1-2 years to decompose, discarded hair continues to build up. Some of it is burned, but that leads to other issues
Sounds like it could be a good carbon capture strategy. Just need to turn it into biochar so it lasts a couple thousand years instead of a couple years.
Please don't, I don't want facial hair
I don't make the rules, ma'am
Granted. Everyone on Earth now owns a Lovesense Lush which grows hair on its face.
Everyone becomes dwarves and are forced to live underground
Way ahead of you buddy.
signed
- the paw
Everyone's lush facial hair also grows 30x faster than normal