I love how I experience music. It is a whole-body experience that most people seem to need substances to experience. Music in 8D with good headphones is better than most concerts I have been to haha. On the flip side to that, physical sensitivities are highly annoying and cause the most grief for sure. While my sensitive hearing produces my favorite experiences with music, it also produces the worst experiences day to day.
this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2023
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Women with Autism
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Since autism in females presents differently, we need a place to discuss our own issues and triumphs dealing with Autism.
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That actually sounds amazing. I feel like I sort of get that. Music can be so intense.
As a tangent off this, I've been feeling increasingly salty about the fact that while all my other senses are heightened, why am I so freaking nearsighted?? Lol
Lol! Haha I need glasses too, I never thought about it like that
Okay let's see..something good something good...I guess my creativity that spreads across all aspects of my being. From my sense of humour to my art to how I can think outside the norm or being able to see things from seemingly infinite angles. Because of this I rarely feel bored.
I do however become overstimulated quite often because of this same thing. Constant ideas and opinions flying at me. So much information to take in all the time!
Like mentioned in another post how they can experience music in a way not everyone can. I also feel and truly experience music to a point of overwhelm and I never know when it'll be a good or bad reaction because I have a really hard time realizing I am overstimulated until I crash.
You know that's really true. There's always ideas and stuff floating in my head, and it's hard to grab one and focus on it because I like them all.
Most heard phrase: I didn't think of that. How? It was the first thing I thought of.
Hmm, struggling to think of the biggest positive at the moment since I'm feeling quite low. I guess the connection I have with my autistic partner feels so much more rewarding when I get misunderstood so often.
The worst part for me has to do with the combination of rejection sensitivity, the anxiety it causes and how it's given me low confidence that I'm trying to build up. After feeling confident for quite awhile I've had a bit of dent on it and now it feels so much harder to get up again.
That does sound great! My partner understands better than most but not completely, so we still have the occasional miscommunication.
I feel that second part. My confidence is higher than it's ever been. For months I've been scared I will lose it, but I realized that if it got there once, it can again. Don't lose heart. You know you are capable of feeling it. It's hard to literally reverse your thinking. You didn't raise your confidence, it's just lower than normal right now. Your baseline shouldn't be where you are now, but where you want it to be.
I think the trick I have used is, if it's confidence in a specific thing, try to step back from that thing and do something you know for sure you can. Take baking for example. Say you have gotten good at baking bread but you mess one up. Confidence lost. Step back, bake a pie instead. Then a cake. Then tackle the bread again. Hopefully you get the idea.
We have our arguments as well but we've gotten a lot better at arguing, now we can sort of pull back and express how we feel about the issue, not that the other person must be wrong for disagreeing.
And you're right, I would've had a lot bigger dent on that confidence before and now instead of wallowing in it for ages I've grown angry cause I know I've not been treated right.
I've slowly built up confidence working with people and being more social and felt like my feelings and opinions were respected, but then had them outright ignored. I don't know if I'm still bitter thinking that a coworker I thought of as a friend is less so a friend but at the same time it's given me a push to apply for jobs higher up in my career since I don't need to feel like I'm leaving my friends behind. I've been thinking I need another year before I'd feel confident enough to train to be a nurse rather than a carer but I might just find out if I can start sooner.
It's an odd realization that the "deep bond" other people have with others is more like an acquaintance to us. We both use the same words to describe our friends, but mean very different things by it.
I fully believe this one fact is why we have so many problems with people we deem friends. They don't have the same actual connection to us we have with them, so the things they do to us don't mean the same thing. Brushing off an acquaintance is no big deal for either party, which is where they come from. For us though, a friend is being unacceptable.
My autism is great at honing my art skills which I need to do my job. I have a great sense of perspective, composition and shape. I can read my whole visual field at once, which is great for driving and work. While autism didn't give me these abilities outright (some took a lot of work) it certainly helped refine them. Hyperfocus and falling down industry specific rabbit holes has done me wonders!
I feel like I have whatever the opposite of that is.