this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2023
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

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[–] _danny@lemmy.world 23 points 11 months ago (4 children)

If you have to try to be straight, I've got news for you.

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I'm so not gay all the dicks I suck cum quick, thus making me suck dick for the shortest amount of time possible.

I aint no queer

[–] Bonehead@kbin.social 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Why do all these gay guys keep trying to suck my dick? I mean I'm definitely not gay as you can tell by my collection of vintage Playboy magazines and my rugged good looks. And it's not like I'm doing anything wrong as I stretch out my calves on the park bench at 11pm while wearing my super short shorts to make running easier. But the next thing I know, some gay guy will start sucking my dick! It's really annoying. I ask them to stop, but they just keep going with those long even strokes while softly caressing my testicles. I even tried bribing one once, but that just emboldened them. I don't know what else to do to make these gay guys stop. It's really starting to interfere with my running schedule.

[–] casmael@startrek.website 2 points 11 months ago

Wow that sounds super ~~gay~~ inconvenient

[–] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago

Recent studies show that 1 in 10 men are gay. That really concerns me, because that means that out of the ten guys I've fucked, one of them was probably gay.

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

I'm so straight I love other straight men.

[–] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I like implication here that being in the closet is not gay.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 14 points 11 months ago

Schrödinger’s closet: as long as you’re inside, you’re simultaneously gay and not gay.

[–] LemmysMum@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'm so straight I could suck a dick and it wouldn't be gay.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Well, your username makes me think that you might be female, in which case you could suck as many dicks as you want and it wouldn’t be gay.

[–] LemmysMum@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Your username makes me hungry.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 points 11 months ago
[–] Infynis@midwest.social 3 points 11 months ago

Bad news, dude. Those clothes are sitting weird on a chair now. You just made them bisexual instead

[–] Emerald@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Image Transcription: YouTube Comment


Justin Casar

I'm so straight that I don't even put my clothes in the closet because eventually they will have to come out of the closet and that is gay.