this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 42 comments
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[–] DharmaCurious@startrek.website 29 points 9 months ago (3 children)

WTF was the original comic here?

[–] crystal@feddit.de 76 points 9 months ago (3 children)

the original comic

Back in my day, we just ate the peanut candy and died.

[–] Vespair@lemm.ee 64 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

"gender-neutral candy"

Jesus Christ these people are so legitimately terrified of everything. Every single thing they make or do is riddled with their insecurities like that.

[–] ElBarto@sh.itjust.works 17 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Aren't like 99% of candies gender neutral tho?

[–] mister_flibble@lemm.ee 18 points 9 months ago (2 children)

That kid just REALLY hates Mr. Goodbar's

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

More like Ms OkayIGuessProbablyBar

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Mr Tom too.

About 20% of m&ms are female - but is there any legitimate 100% female candy?

[–] Vespair@lemm.ee 2 points 9 months ago

Mounds. You know the song: 🎵 Almond Joy's got nuts, mounds don't 🎵

This is admittedly assuming a candy gender binary. I'm certainly open to candy non-binary gender options but admittedly have not as of yet heard for such consideration from any non-binary candies themselves.

[–] explodicle@local106.com 1 points 9 months ago (2 children)

No, most candy bars are phallic symbols.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

Gotta have that dick vein on my Snickers 😤

[–] FiniteLooper@lemm.ee 3 points 9 months ago

Twix is gay because there’s two of them in the same wrapper

[–] TheMinions@lemmy.world 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Man as someone with a kid who is both allergic to dairy and gluten this just makes me sad.

My kid has real dietary needs, and I try not to burden whoever is handing out free candy for n Halloween with this.

My wife and I have taught my kid to be thankful to everyone, even if they can’t eat that particular candy when we do an allergen check later that night.

[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.one 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm similar to your kid. I have celiac and also severe lactose intolerance. Fortunately, a lot of candy is free of most allergens. For example, Sour Patch kids and Laffy Taffy. (Not sure if it's vegan though.) I also had a nephew with a peanut allergy, so I try to read labels when I buy Halloween candy (though this year I decided to reverse trick or treat the houses on my block with kids and then turn the lights off, since kids don't really go out anymore like they used to.)

[–] LukeMedia@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Sour patch kids are vegan, fun sized laffy taffy is vegan. The bigger laffy taffy isn't vegan.

[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.one 3 points 9 months ago

Good to know, thanks! I think most of the candy I eat is vegan. In fact, it would probably be an easy switch for me to go vegan.

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago

Back in my day, we just ate cum.

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Probably trying to make fun of people with dietary restrictions or preferences.

[–] Micromot@feddit.de 9 points 9 months ago

Exactly that

[–] effward@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

The only other version I've seen has all the kids asking for fentanyl.

Not sure what the original is.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

This is the original

the original comic

[–] Battle_Masker@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago (3 children)
[–] Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 9 months ago

Plants have needs and desires that are unmet by omnivores

[–] Johanno@feddit.de 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Well according to some vegans human do not count. So human meat is vegan too.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think there's an untapped market for lab-grown human meat out there.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

If someone gives their body willingly it is technically vegan to some.

[–] Bristlecone@lemmy.world 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This is fuckin gross & weird

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

It is indeed

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.de 17 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I guess we have a weirdest post of the day winner.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Thank you for the nomination!

[–] kinther@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Definitely one of them

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Weirdest post of the day award may not be the high honor you think it is, OP

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

It's not? Damn.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I remember being on a cub scout camping trip and while our group was on a hike, we passed a little creek and there was some kind of foam building up at a spot where the water narrowed and got agitated around and some kid just yells "ew is that deer cum?" A few of us (myself included) laughed and some of the other kids were like "what is cum?" Which just made us laugh even harder while the adults tried to just get everyone moving again.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Classic kid antics

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I don't really get why this exists but I caught myself thinking that the gender neutral cum was missing, because I remember my dad lost his shit over the gender neutral candy on the original. He also lost his shit over gender neutral Santa and other stuff that is simply not a thing beyond other people like him bringing it up on Facebook like anyone actually wants that.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

I don't get why it exists either. That's why I put it in Lemmy Shitpost. But yes it should really have a gender neutral cum.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Is this the part we're supposed to say "that's enough internet for the day," and promise we're going to turn it off, or just become desensitized and keep reading more depraved nonsense?

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

I've no fucking clue honestly