I mean, they're not entirely wrong. The moderation/administration tools are just not developed yet. But that's what you get with beta services.
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on the other hand, they won't mature very quickly if there's no early adopters.
The need creates the will to implement it.
I don't understand why these types of people come to the Fediverse if what they want is total control of their community and all interactions within it. Just create a closed message board with restricted sign-ups.
I don't think a lack of "total control" is the issue that OP is talking about. Regardless of how much control one wants to have over their instance, they still need the ability to effectively moderate illegal content.