There's a theory, if you want to actually do something don't tell many people. It's a common problem, even for those without ADHD.
this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2023
673 points (99.3% liked)
ADHD memes
8258 readers
708 users here now
ADHD Memes
The lighter side of ADHD
Rules
Other ND communities
- ADHD - Generic discussion
- Ausome Memes
- Autism
- AuDHD
- Neurodivergence
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
I keep seeing this advice from very smart people who have their lives together, "if you want to finish a thing, don't tell people about it" - and two clicks later there's other very smart people who also have their lives together going "if you want to finish a thing, tell people about it". It's really 50/50 which one you're going to be told, almost as if it either depends on the individual which one works or it's entirely meaningless.
Telling specific people who can help is good. Telling many people is bad.
With projects I've done at work the more people who know means more people to slow you down with their ideas. Or even delay you on purpose because they're not interested in a potential change.
It sucks cause my primary role is process improvement projects. Great role for ADHD people who thrive in change. But hard from constant delays to deal with normies not interested in change. I've had to get really good at reading people. Figure out what button to press to influence them towards agreement.
This. Literally me, just unofficially and among researchers.
if you want to finish something, finish it
also, don't have adhd, or, alternatively, hyperfocus on that one thing at the expense of other things that you actually should be doing
don’t have adhd
Silly me.
Very true, this much more nuanced take on the issue.
Here’s the thing. If you want to finish something you need to finish it. Seems obvious but it’s not. Telling people should not have any real bearing on whether you finish it or not you are still in control whether you tell somebody or not.
I do this, it's like if I tell someone then I'm only doing it so I don't have to tell them I gave up on it
I skip the tell everyone part so I don't need to feel that bad about not finishing it
Yea, I heard once that you shouldn't tell anyone if you want to do something new. Because telling everyone, already getting respect by everyone and all that even tho you didn't even did anything gives your brain more dopamine than actually doing it. So yea. The trick is to not tell anyone. There is still a huge chance that you won't finish the project, but the chance that you do it is higher and if you don't the shame is lower. But anyway I'm saying this all but I didn't learn from this tipp myself. I also always tell everyone instantly about my new project that I will absolutely do this time! Because I absolutely don't need that trick, because THIS TIME its different. THIS TIME I actually do it. :) yea...
i didn’t need this level of calling out first thing in the morning. 🤣
Right? 7am here and my day is already being dictated to me.
I'm in this picture and I hate it. And officially I don't even have AD(H)D
I realized that I do the 'tell everyone' stage because I'm trying to recruit a body double so I'll stick with the project 😅
And then the guilt when they ask how (blank) is coming along..
I'm feeling very attacked.