this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2023
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Clever Comebacks

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Posts of clever comebacks in response to someone.

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[–] SaintWacko@midwest.social 79 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Man, if someone told me they were going to get rid of my cat, I'd never see them again. And if they actually tried, no one else would, either

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

No joke. Cats are a civilized companion for a civilized man.

What I don’t understand is why a lady would prefer to get finger blasted by someone who just picked up dog poop nary an hour ago with that same hand. Cats rule, dogs drool.

Edit: apparently I needed an /s here to make it clear that my word choice is meant to be flip. The dog mafia can stand down.

[–] ReCursing@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I mean I agree in principle, but I did once had a cat who drooled a lot!

[–] CaptFeather@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My cats both had severe untreated syphilis when they were kittens which fucked up their sinuses. One of them just has a leaky eye but the other has two fucked up inner eyelids, two leaky eyes, and a VERY leaky nose. She will have sneezing fits randomly and it's like D-Day. We take cover or quickly scoot her to the hardwood floor to limit what she covers in snot lmao. Love them both to death though

[–] ReCursing@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How does a kitten get syph... you know what, don't answer that

[–] CaptFeather@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It's actually very common for cats! It's spread by saliva mainly, from cats biting or scratching each other so my cats are strictly indoors. Though I'm pretty sure mine got it from their mom. They were rescues, brought in to my roommates clinic where she works as a vet technician.

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 year ago

Thank you for understanding that I was joking, lol. Yeah, I’ve lived with some drooly boys too—some of the sweetest cats I’ve known.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] ClaireDeLuna@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Please throw your phone and computer off of the nearest roof and never log onto the Internet ever again.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Big lube will never silence me!

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 3 points 1 year ago

That's alright they didn't pick it up they just left it in the streets like a REAL MAN

[–] diffusive@lemmy.world 73 points 1 year ago

Also I don’t see why it’s gay to like pussies 🤷

[–] HubertManne@kbin.social 49 points 1 year ago (2 children)

These type of things seem so made up.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So fucking fake, and I’m glad the reply has a red box around it… otherwise I’d miss it!

[–] EddoWagt@feddit.nl 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That red box is just a Reddit thing when a comment is gilded or whatever

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 year ago

Oh weird. Thanks for explaining.

I was so happy I was able to turn off all awards when I was on Reddit. I hate them.

[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] HubertManne@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Its just so silly though. I mean we are on the internet. On a type of social media. Whats the most popular topics. Well internet (especially social media) has a whole thing about cat videos. I would say cat is likely number one (not for me but a a generality) and then they are like oh no. All the girls. They make fun of me for having a cat and I found the one girl in the whole world who will accept a man owning a cat. lol. sad.

[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have never once heard a person say stuff like this.

[–] CosmicTurtle@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have but usually from bitchy women. I'm confident enough in my own masculinity to wear an apron when I cook so they don't usually bother me.

[–] ReCursing@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm confident enough in my masculinity to carry a cat shaped hand bag and wear a rainbow camo hoodie. But then I'm not really that masculine, so that's fine I guess

[–] CosmicTurtle@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I think Zack Braff said it best on his Scrubs podcast. Paraphrasing terribly, playing a sensitive leading role in a setting where traditionally you saw people like George Clooney did a lot to help men be more comfortable with themselves.

Being "masculine" is being comfortable and confident in who you are and not letting the naysayers get you down.

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We doin screenshots of reddit threads now? Damnit, reddit won't let me escape lol

[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 4 points 1 year ago

"Now"? Its been this way for a while.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 8 points 1 year ago

4 cats!? Are they interested in adopting an adult son? (I'll help care for the cats)

[–] agent_flounder@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Neato. I cannot even be friends with someone who says something that insane.

[–] Starkstruck@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Anyone who says that is a complete shit head not worth your time.

[–] Soap10116@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You are a crazy cat person if you have more than 4 cats per capita with a maximum of 12 cats per household.

[–] maniclucky@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You are solidly into crazy cat person territory with those numbers. Half that is somewhere near the border.

[–] Soap10116@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

I need some time to develop an equation. Like 4 cats for a single person is a lot but I wouldn't consider it crazy. That being said, 8 cats is quite a bit for 2 people. So maybe something regressive like 1-4, 2-7, 3-9, 4-10, 5-11, 6-12 but past that, you're running a commune that likes cats. Threshold