“They need to know that they can’t just get away with examining the evidence and presenting a decision in accordance with the law.”
lol
this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2023
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The Onion
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Those that the law protects but does not bind and all that...
"I just bet it makes Mr. Trump feel real good to know he's got somebody out there on his side. Like, he's up in that magnificent home of his, and he's thinking, 'Man, I've got it all, but it's nothing compared to what Mr. Crenshaw has done for me.' Because it turns out, he knows me! He knows my name! He's even got a picture of me on his desk. Me! Little old Joshie Crenshaw! And just thinking about that makes me turn off the car engine and open the garage door and know I've got a reason to face another day."
I didn't expect that sudden turn at the end
What's really funny is all the Trump campaign emails they send you. I only signed up for them because it was a requirement for snagging free tickets to far right events (So someone who actually wanted to go can't... leaving empty seats)
Many of them say things like "Anon, Trump named you personally as his top contributor. Send us 9001 dollars for an autographrd Trump hat. He is counting on your support, yes, you specifically"
It sounds like the perfect target group for such scammers. I like the idea of taking up space without actually using it. I wonder how much they'd be secured against automated registrations
The Onion goes dark real fast. Fortunately that suits my sense of humor.
Ye, I love it. The very humane death-row-inmate-decapitation-machine comes to mind as well :))
This one is my favorite darkest of all time. I’m always in tears of laughter by the end:
Absolutely glorious
Yeah that got pretty real. The ideation of political criminals is the only things keeping these people going? That's worrisome.
We broke the record in suicides this year, so people are clinging to whatever scraps they can.
“Wanted to send a message that would make them think twice about indicting Donald Trump, a message that, in hindsight, probably would’ve worked better prior to them and three other grand juries handing down indictments.”
When I saw the title I legitimately wondered for a moment if the onion had posted real news... Things bizarre these days
No problem, we'll just keep doxxing the Jan. 6-ers and putting you all in jail. Two can play this game.
For those wondering where the article is with their Adblocker up.
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