this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] ieatpwns@lemmy.world 78 points 1 week ago (2 children)

And they say pheromones don’t work on humans. Yea aight

[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 57 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Because we don't have receptors for them, yes. Science is cool.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 64 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"pheromones is when a lil stinky"

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 35 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

I pheromoned in the toilet this morning! And a tiny amount in my own asscheeks overnight

Edit: apparently y'all don't like poop jokes. Noted, but not heeded

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ur mom was phero-moning my name haha gottem

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 22 points 1 week ago

I thought I told you to stop talking to me, Dad

[–] DogWater@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

but not heeded

Atta boy

[–] satans_methpipe@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'm really not a big fan of pooping while in bed but your edit is cracking me up

[–] laurelraven@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What is it that a fartographer would do exactly?

If a cartographer maps out the land, would a fartographer map out the bowels?

[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

They draw the pollution map overlay in Factorio

[–] don@lemm.ee 15 points 1 week ago

They are frequently wrong.

[–] errer@lemmy.world 69 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Could have done without the Elon comment just so I can avoid thinking about that choad for 5 minutes on the internet

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 81 points 1 week ago (1 children)

While I understand the sentiment, I have to disagree.

This is nearly perfect comedy, Without the final redirect it's just a rant about Fake Plastic Trees

[–] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

And it wears me out....

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Tbh Europeans of the start of the nineteenth century had this too, but with Napoleon.

Who was turned away for losing and putting hundreds of thousands to their early grave. And then the king came back and they were like 'oh this Napoleon guy wasn't so bad after all.'

And then Napoleon lost again, got exiled and again the king retuned, people became so desirous of late Napoleon again that they elevated his nephew to emperor.

So you can say at least that however bad technocrats are, kings seem to be worse, by a margin.

[–] naught@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

it turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Seconded. Also as regards the perfume kind of musk, if I wanted to fuck a civet I'd fuck a civet.

(I wouldn't because civets can't consent. So I guess there's a place for musk perfume: for frustrated civetfuckers.)

[–] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Let the civet fuck you, then it's consensual.

[–] Glent@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in civet

[–] parody@lemmings.world 2 points 1 week ago

Time to roast and brew

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 1 points 1 week ago

But would you fuck a Civic?

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

I think that was part of the humor intended. Because it was spelled with a lower case m, which (ignoring the author's possibility of mistakes) means it was referring to the smell and not the person.

[–] Fleur_@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You are contributing to the problem

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago

I just lost the game!

[–] 200ok@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Same. I've filtered out a lot of keywords in my feed and I hate that it still comes up in screenshots. I'm just so tired.

[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 45 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Damn, this got me feeling some kind of way

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Like a musky husky?~

[–] ProgrammingSocks@pawb.social 7 points 1 week ago

If you think the internet only has squeaky clean porn I have some news...

[–] bane_killgrind 2 points 1 week ago

My buddies will love this one