this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
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Shitty Life Pro Tip

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Welcome,

To a place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. This Community is welcome to anything shitty pro-tip related, such as memes, discussing the best shitty tip, and much more.


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1_Don't spam, post must be related to community topic

2_Do not seek mental, medical or professional help here. This is not the place, community is meant for satire.

3_No tip should be taken serious

4_No tip should single out a person

5_No racism, harassing, or discriminating against any group or any of the communities members. This will get you banned immediately.

6_Tip posts must start with SLPT

7_For posts related to SLPTs, but not a tip please use "[META]" tag

8_Self promotion will get you banned


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[–] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 51 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Always excercise your 2nd amendment rights, you never know when you have to fear for your life and be forced to defend yourself.

Les call this the CEO Panic Defence

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (3 children)

FSLPT: A staggering variety of everyday objects can be used as a weapon if you are sufficiently motivated and/or pissed off.

I am certain, for instance, that I could do someone quite a mischief if I whacked them with my ThinkPad.

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 week ago

Hell, I could probably break someone's skull with my brick phone while using strobe mode on the flashlight to disorientate the other party.

[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago

Bluetooth speakers have some weight, and it has a string to swing it for more force. It'd probably crack a skull with a hard enough swing.

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 1 points 1 week ago

I was thinking about this when I carried my ThinkPad around

'i could totally fuck someone up with this laptop'

[–] morgan_423@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

About 10 years ago, I had my Fortune 500 company's CEO enter the office gym one day and jump right on the treadmill next to mine (I did not work in the CEO's home office; he was out and about doing a regional office tour that week). And I had to stay because I was in the middle of a timed program, and had a visible countdown going on my treadmill, and it would have been more memorable for him and weird if I just noped out early.

Most awkward ten minutes of small talk I've ever had to make in my entire life.

That's why I always wear headphones in the gym. I devinetively don't want to talk with some "strangers" in the gym.

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I bet you wished you threw the treadmill at him! That's what i woulda wished i could do.

[–] HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A cracked-out erratic orangutan?

[–] Dadifer@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No, a chocolate emperor orange.

[–] HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I like yours better. Coming up with something that fit was hard lol .