May I also suggest, even easier than saltines, a nice tall, refreshing glass of water? The perfect meal replacement for those times when you're too busy (or poor) to eat!
this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
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Water, like from the toilet?
Ooh la la Mr. Fancy I Have A Toilet Man. No, WATER, like from a puddle on the sidewalk.
You live somewhere where water just falls from the sky for free?
Can't afford Brandow.
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You greedy communist! If you do that, then Nestle can't bottle up all that fresh mone--I mean, water, up and help the free market!
I'll 1up you. Take half a sleeve of saltines and put them in a big glass. Pour chocolate milk in the glass until it is half full and stir until thick.
Bottoms up.
On an unrelated note, I disgust my wife.
Your wife and I have at least one thing in common.
My dad eats saltines with butter. Not peanut butter. Butter butter.
It is good, like eating a buttered roll but crunchy.
My Grandma taught me to butter the saltines when we have Chili and to scoop a little chili on the butter saltine. I might need to make some chili tonight now haha
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I do that but I dip them in my tomato soup.
That’s basically a Ritz but simpler.
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Man... I have to not buy saltines because I will literally just eat a sleeve plain.
I can just sit and eat a whole box of Triscuits if I'm not stopped, so I never buy Triscuits in any of their wonderfully delicious flavors.
I'll eat a whole damn box before i realize what I've done. One day it's gonna catch up to me and I'm gonna be the next person on my 600lb life
Unsalted saltines are just wrong though.
Those are just "ines"
It’s like some sort of absorbent material used to clean up spills
It's basically wallpaper paste.
I love a good sleeve of saltines and I’m a grown ass man with a family and house and all that jazz.
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My cats will try and murder me for these, they give no shits about any other crackers or human non-meat food, but I’ve had one literally try and eat one out of my mouth. Makes me question what’s really in them….
A lot of animals are hyper attracted to salt, that could be it. I know a deer will lick your dried piss off a rock for some salt from my days camping.
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Had a cat that dearly loved noodles. Would climb all over you for a strand of spaghetti.
Image Transcription:
An image of an unopened sleeve of saltines with text over it. The text at the top reads: off work late? hungry, but too tired to cook? try eating sleeve of saltines The bottom text reads: you certainly will not regret eating sleeve of saltines
[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]
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My dad used to melt cheese and put salami on these and we would dip it in marinara. He called it poor mans pizza.
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Add some cheeses, meats, fruits, and veggies and you have a bomb ass snack tray
Nah, ritz for that. Butter is a completely different story though. Especially when sick.
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Anyone still do the 4 saltines in 1 minute challenge? No drinking!
nah i do the 4 sleeves in 1 hour challenge
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Don’t forget to add meat, cheese, beans, hot sauce in any combo!
Oh man I'm not good at thyroid gland plz to halp
I can eat reams of Zesta saltines by themselves. I’ve tried multiple varieties and nothing comes close.
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Mmm saladas
mm mm nothing does my body better than sleeve of saltines
Ok, I know you like saltines but have you tried...
R A T I O N S ! ?
I would much rather....drink 3 beers!
Thanks Andy Richter, miss you buddy!
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Unfortunately, I can’t eat wheat so I would severely regret eating a sleeve of saltines. Non-immunogenic saltines though, sure!
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