this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
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The Onion

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OTTAWA – The Conservative Party of Canada has officially announced that in addition to walkable cities, vaccines, and transgender children, they are also deeply afraid of eating bugs.

“We WON’T Eat Bugs,” the CPC said in an online petition it posted this week. “No one is asking us to, but we’re so scared someone might, and it could be Justin Trudeau. And that makes us furious and so very frightened of this version of Justin Trudeau that we made up who is making us eat bugs.”

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[–] Eryn6844@beehaw.org 2 points 10 hours ago

dont they know where those red colors dyed M&Ms come from?

[–] voluble@lemmy.ca 11 points 23 hours ago

POV: You’re the world’s largest producer of lentils, by far

Conservatives: “They’re eating the bugs”

[–] nulluser@lemmy.world 47 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Many political scientists believe the reason rightwing politicians become hysterical at the idea of eating insects is due to the fact that in school, all of them were either the kind of children who made other children eat bugs, or the kind of children who would’ve made other children eat bugs if they’d possessed the upper body strength to do so.

“Like all bullies, conservatives are deeply afraid of pretty much everything,” said Dr. Abigail Petrie, the head of the Political Science Department at McGill University. “They mask their terror with anger, but beneath their performative rage you’ll find a person who is terrified of anything and everything. Sadly, rather than simply coping with their anxiety in a healthy way, conservatives lash out, like a dog attacking a vacuum cleaner while pissing itself in fear.”

Nailed it.

[–] ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml 4 points 19 hours ago

This isn't even satire, it's just the truth.

[–] fnrir@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

It already happened in Poland. Source: search "Poland eating bugs"

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 35 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] Corno@lemm.ee 3 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

The way I see it, it'd be similar to how ostrich eggs are sold in Canada and a lot of other places worldwide as a kind of novelty food, but most people just eat chicken eggs anyways.

From this article

Ashour said 10 per cent of the product is sold for human consumption. The rest is sold to the pet food industry.

"It's quite remarkable how normal insect consumption can be in some of these countries," Ashour said.

[–] kyle@lemm.ee 17 points 1 day ago (2 children)

What's it called when you eat the onion but turns out it actually is real?

[–] fallingcats@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 1 day ago

This fucking timeline

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 3 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] kyle@lemm.ee 3 points 19 hours ago

Normally yes, but the OP actually is an onion article.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hell I won't eat bugs and ain't no conservative tagging me for it

[–] ByteOnBikes 53 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh shit new moral panic just dropped!

[–] veganpizza69@lemmy.vg 31 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)
[–] Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee 2 points 19 hours ago

I was expecting it to be the clip from Paul Joseph Watson 'I will not eat the bugs' that made the rounds a few years ago.

[–] Soleos@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

Thank God, the market price of lobster and crab is too damn high. Even prawn is getting up there.

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I tried eating bugs, it's not bad. Aside from lobster and shrimp I mean, grasshoppers aren't that bad.

[–] TurtleTourParty@midwest.social 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Silkworm pupae (Beondegi in Korean) are pretty good too.

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I would try it, looks interesting. The canned stuff though... Ugh

The boiled or steamed snack food is served in paper cups with toothpick skewers. Its aroma has been described as "nutty, shrimp-like, and a bit like canned corn" and the canned-type smells very much "like tire rubber", while the texture is firm and chewy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beondegi

Edit: are those just the 'de-silked' pupae from the silk industry?

[–] TurtleTourParty@midwest.social 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The pupa stage is a motionless stage. In this stage, people kill the pupa by plunging the cocoon into boiling water and unwind the silk thread.

https://byjus.com/chemistry/silkworm/

So yes, it looks like this is the leftover insect after the silk is removed

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 1 day ago

Even better, thanks!

[–] WrenFeathers@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

So… what are the odds that trump is going to have The Onion shut down?

[–] Dragonstaff@leminal.space 2 points 19 hours ago

Zero. That's just not a thing the President can do.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago

I guess we'll find out on the Beav.

[–] Telorand@reddthat.com 9 points 1 day ago

More for me!

[–] muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What happened to freedom and letting people excercise their liberty as they please.

[–] ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I mean, nobody is forced to eat crickets lol

[–] muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 2 points 11 hours ago

Yeah exctly. But if i wanna eat crickets thats my godamn right.