I had a dream I failed a uni assignment. First one since I started this degree.
So it has begun...the anxiety, the self doubts, the...troubles.
this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
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You sound super organised and motivated. I believe in you!
(Donโt be me. Iโve done enough of that for all of us.)
Thank you.
I finished my first assignment for this teaching period yesterday. It's not due until Dec 2. I leave nothing to the last minute, but the way things are structured they don't cover everything until the week before it's due - which sucks. But I average around 75% so far so I am doing ok with this method.
Assignments are scary. You've got this, Dan!! Props to you for doing a degree. Uni is tough, but you are tougher :)
Thank you.
i think my upbringing is messing me up atm.
Old man was/is a sub specialist looking after acute disease / end of life stuff. Emotion is completely out the window when it comes to care (shit needs to get done with a clear mind). I was on the phone from about 13yo speaking to these patients when he wasn't home (which was a lot) and all I could do was listen to that fear. They just wanted someone to hear them (emotionally). Used to go on rounds with him and he has a very good bed side manner, but once out of the room back into get shit done mode.
Seeing mum in her chair just staring at the ground depressed is heartbreaking. Asking me to read texts from buds is heartbreaking. Her telling me the old man hasn't said a nice word since (he's in doc mode) is rough. I'm sort of caught between being someone she can speak to with emotion, but then I have to switch my own on and off depending on what needs to happen. When you leave the room it's a tidal wave of the realisation of a new reality for her.
All my discussions with the old man are clinical (and it needs to be), but I can see a few cracks in his demeanour which is.. unusual and.. heartbreaking (and telling).
I don't really have hope that her vision will recover beyond where it is now. But flipping emotion on and off like this is something I've never done.
Easier said than done, but you need to allow yourself the space to just be outside this dynamic. This is new territory for everyone and even for those that work in field. We can think or imagine how weโre going to respond or handle something like, but the truth is we never know until we in the moment.
I hope that you have people close where you can express this. It might also not be what your father wants to hear right now, but it sounds like your mother needs him as a husband and not a doctor right now. The sooner he hears that, the better. Sheโs probably scared and she needs to feel like she is more than someone who needs to be treated. You know, patient centered care and being holistic and all thatโฆ
Sending you the biggest hugs. Please talk to friends/loved ones/or other if you can.
Heart goes out to you Racer. Navigating this will be a challenge for anyone. We are here for support and venting. There is still a chance that your mum will recover more than present situation too. Sending healing vibes.
You'll need to be there for your dad too - sounds like he might need someone to model how to be human/emotional too. Which is lot to ask but there's not a chance in hell that he'll seek outside professional advice methinks.
So many hugs. Healing is hard, and it takes a lot of time.
I always wanted a turkey baster and thanks to Aldi I now have one.
Ps. When I typed in baster it automatically typed in bastard.
I wonder if its the fact that turkeys arnt that common a meal in aus, who more about who I am as a person that my mind goes immediately to uses for a turkey baster.
Suppose it could be all the exposure to IVF and fertility stuff too.
Turkey is honestly a great white meat.
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It will definitely be used to skim fat and oil from my stews.
So itโs no secret here that Iโm on thin ice at work and work is on thin ice with me. I think that ice is going to crack on both sides when I ask for an extra week off after the Christmas break.
they cant fire you for that. And surely they'd want you to be using leave rather than have to pay you out?
I'll be outta annual leave, lol. It's more if they deny me it, I'll say byeeee!
Felicia!
ABC news has a story that Alan Jones has been arrested on indecent assault charges spanning 20 years. About time.
I'm going to try to squeeze one more day of leave from work. Considering I'm not taking a break over Xmas, I feel like 4 days of leave isn't a huge deal.
Let's see what happens lol
Beep Beep ๐
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๐ฅ๐ฅฌ๐ฅ๐ฝ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ง
๐ฅฏ๐๐ฅ๐ฅจ๐ง๐ง๐ฅ๐ง๐ณ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅฉ๐๐๐ซ๐๐๐๐ญ๐ฅ๐ง๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ฆช๐ฅ๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ชผ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ฅฎ๐ข๐ก๐ง๐ฐ๐ง๐ฅง๐ฆ๐จ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฌ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฏ๐ฅโ๏ธ๐ต๐บ๐ถ๐ฅค๐ง๐ง๐ฅ๐ท๐ฅ๐ธ๐น๐ง๐
Ooh looks like I'm in time for some Goose! I'll take it Peking duck style please
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strange nightmares, first I was looking for a new place to live but the place was strange and had public toilets
second someone went out and got some recreational drugs to use. I cried.
I had one last week where me and a mate were sitting in a waiting room outside an orgy waiting for it to finish for some reason.
in verity that is a strange dream
Weirdly comforting I am not the only one.
Yesterday my dad called me a loser because I am underemployed right now. I am looking for another job that fits with the uni break, asking managers for more shifts, trying to better myself by actually having hobbies for once in my life and doing things with friends. Yeah, I still don't wake up super early, and yeah, I'm not happy with my life either, but I feel like I'm getting somewhere, after years of fighting battles in my mind and making shitty decisions.
Then you've got my twin sister who has had a full-time job even when she was studying, has a mortgage and her life is work, and she can get through each day without having to reassure herself that she's going to be fine. Most people my age aren't lucky enough to be in this position, but somehow this is the standard I'm expected to uphold. No one says it, but just by the way people in my life baby me around, I can tell that that's the way they want me to be.
/ end vent with lots of cognitive distortions
As a parent sometimes we say things out of frustration. It doesn't make it right though. Big hugs for you because you are going forward and that's the main thing. ๐
Thank you ๐ซ
That's so shit and so fucked up. I'm glad he apologised, but it's not fair that he did that in first place. Comparison is the thief of joy, you're doing YOU and that's all that matters. You are loved!
Thank you, that is very true :) I will keep doing me and trust that things will click into place.
I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I know it's difficult to dismiss a parents opinion, but I would highly recommend it in this case.
It sounds like he has no understanding of the way the world works at the moment. I hear this a lot from people. That their parents are completely disconnected from the realities of life these days.
You're not a loser and I hope you know that โค๏ธ
Thank you! I will (try to) dismiss it.
I agree, he doesn't understand the way the world works at the moment.
Yesterday my dad called me a loser because I am underemployed right now. what a prick. You didnt need to say or justify anything beyond that. Hes a prick. Nothing more to say and nothing else matters beyond that. You dont speak to your kids like that. EVER. Even if you aint a kid any more.
He did apologise, saying he believes in me and that he was just trying to push me, but that's definitely a mean thing to call someone.
It's the sort of comment that might have motivated him as a young man, and may be motivational for your twin, but definitely is not effective as a motivator for you. And as your parent he should have seen that a lot earlier.
Yes, he should know by now I'm sensitive!
He may be sincere in his apology, but I'm so sorry you experienced that from your father. The things our parents say tend to stick around a while in our heads (my egg donor said "you're just like your father!" And slapped me when I replied "good!" lol, I'll never forget), but know that YOU ARE NOT A LOSER!!!!! no one here would ever say or think that about you, because it's untrue! You are nowhere near to being a loser and your dad should spend the rest of his life making it up to you imo.
We love you!
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wtf, i wouldn't say that to a friend let alone a daughter
you know you're right , you know they were wrong
but it hurts so bad, hurts because why would they even say that, they are supposed to be kind and supportive, and you know they know how to be supportive because they are to other people
so many many hugs
I know it hurts, I know that having the kindness and support of those we love makes us feel like we can conquer the world but there are times we need to be our own best friend
you have us as your friend and you have yourself, you're a really good friend
me, my family of origin want me to be loser, they would get angry when I has success of any kind, I lost them instead
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Jesus Christ, I'm sorry but a parent should not be calling their child that.
That's just not right!
People go through different journeys through life to get to where they want, there's no playbook by any means.
Exactly!
I hope you're ok coming from this, it did make me pretty angry reading about it, that's not the way to encourage someone.
Used airtasker for the first time today. Damn this is useful and convenient! Listed The Couch of Doom to be removed for a pretty reasonable price and 4 offers within 45 minutes. Now booked in to be taken tonight by someone who seems really lovely and will actually use it too and not just take it to the tip. Sure the connection fee is pricey but the stress relief is monumental...
I've put together everything that the movers need to take away now - just need to give the fridge and tv console a wipe down. Let's hope to fuck that they can actually carry everything up to the new place with its narrow staircase, I will be fucked if they can't fit it in (I guess airtasker to the rescue again to take stuff off the footpath asap ๐)
Airtasker can be great like that - I did the same thing to get rid of a wine fridge that Marketplace buyers kept not showing up for. I've had a bit of weeding and gutter cleaning done via Airtasker too.
Narrow staircases can be an issue, but movers can be pretty clever with stuff like that. I used to live in a flat above a shop which had an external spiral staircase up to a narrow landing to the door, the movers managed to get a neighbour's double bed up the side of the shop below and lift it over the landing from the shop roof.
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