The Onion

Theyre not the ones that need to learn. Voters need to learn DNC is a bunch of wealthy moderates grifting voters.

It’s going to be really fun to see them dust off the same exact playbook next time around, I already have two copies of it, I use one to even out the table in my kitchen, and the other I use the pages to pick up my dogs shit in the yard.”

So far what I have learned about what Kamala has learned is:

It is now the darkest night in America.

But...

There are billions of stars you can only see at night!

...

You know, faint, distant glimmers from long, long ago, that you can squint at and imagine they form coherent, stable, meaningful structures... which are not, and never really were there at all.

...

I do not know if she was intentionally attempting to invert/reference Reagan's 'Morning in America' and HW's 'Thousand points of light', or if she somehow thought this was an original, meaningful metaphor.

Either would be pathetic and disgusting.

...

Anyway, quite literally that may have been how democracy in America died, to another speech of meaningless platitudes, ending with thunderous applause, congratulating that a failed struggle was worth it, because even though it failed, it played by the rules and was gracious in defeat.

What's the thing that will send you websites at a set date in the future? Wanna take bets and look at this 4 years from now to the day?