Ask Lemmy

The best way to stop being miserable is to see other people more miserable than you...and help them. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen or similar. You will count your blessings soon enough. I regularly volunteer to do the final rites of dead people in my community. This includes bathing and prepping the corpse and later burying them. Being around dead people will quickly change your world view.

Mirror the profile of actually happy, older people who have lives you would like to have.

Take care of your health, eat well and exercise.

Be successful: you don’t have to be rapacious, but there is a level of financial success and stability that definitely decreases stress and affords more opportunities, like travel and hobbies.

Be social: the happiest people have strong social networks.

Be wise: don’t worry about what you can’t change, but be engaged and try to make the world a better place.

Being cranky takes effort. Easier to float along.

i’d say it gets better but I am 42.

Probably avoiding alcohol unless in moderation when socializing. I’d suggest meditating as well.

1. Commit to the bit. If you're deadpan, see if you can keep elaborating on a joke without cracking a smile until it's so damn silly you've got to laugh. People like it, and it's an easy transition to make for people who have a serious-seeming sense of humor.

2. Consciously remind yourself that everyone tends to assume that mistakes are caused by inherent properties of people, but sometimes there are fuzzy but real reasons why people say and do dumb stuff- bad day, distracted, etc. Try to give people the slack you'd like them to give you when you get wound up on some dumbass opinion.

First & most important, don't compare yourself to other people. Y'all have different life experiences and personalities. Since your prior experences have jaded you, get therapy. It'll give you the tools to understand yourself, your moods, and to manage them.

Till you get therapy sorted

1. Look for the positives in a situation
2. Learn how to identify negative thinking and then apply step 1
3. Use positive affirmations daily, and as often as you need throughout the day. ("You are smart, You are kind, You are important") or create your own.
4. Smile. It'll make you look & feel better and more importantly, it confuses the hell outta other people.

Brother, you might need to just give yourself time.

You mentioned you just got out of 12 years in food service and you’re only 28 years old! Depending on how recent your escape was, you may just need some time to not do food service and you’ll feel yourself start to come out of your shell. My man, you’ve probably been out through the wringer in your past industry. Enjoy your new career and the nice things that are different from the place you left behind.

Beyond that, I’ve always believed that to have fun, people need to feel safe. You have to ask yourself: “am I grumpy because I don’t feel safe/accepted/comfortable in this situation?” By analyzing what’s bothering you, you may be able to eventually push yourself out of your comfort zone and have a playful attitude with others. I think the father in your example story does but feel safe in his own life.

Friendliness covers a multitude of sins, but it takes practice to present yourself in a friendly way.

The easiest would just be to die young. Can't be a crotchety old man if you never live to be old!

Try to enjoy life a bit. If there is nothing that is currently bringing you that joy, now is the time to experiment a bit.

Yeah I'm 38 and I've noticed the same lately. I occasionally think about death and my own mortality - that one day, like everyone, I'm going to cease to exist. I'm probably half way through life if I'm fortunate. All these factors has lead me to a conclusion that life is to short to be grumpy for no real reason, decide to be happy. I'm working on it, and things are far better this way. I've always been a person who has a smile on their face but that's been changing. People often think or ask, where do I want to be in 5-10 years, I go the opposite. I think of myself on my deathbed and reflect what would I have been satisfied with in life? Pretty weird but is what works for me.

Only 12 years? thems rookie numbers....you gotta pump them up!

(good for you!, sincerely -a 35yr chef going on year 36)

Therapy and work on trying to build a mentality around just letting things so. Change happens rapidly, people don't like change, just gotta fix that mentality and go with the flow of change instead of always pushing against it. Therapist could help find out the why you're so against changes and help change your perspective on it.

Force yourself to do things you know you normally enjoy, can help break a person out of a "rut".

Best of luck bud.

I kinda wish I knew because it makes me scared for my future. I am trying to not to do old people things and see if that helps.

• rotate out my clothing. Something gets donated weekly
• give new tech (ok not cars but everything else) a fair chance before I judge it
• Don't talk to an adult or teen like they are a kid.
• learn new stuff all the time from recipes to academic stuff.
• avoid telling a story unless it is vital for the situation.