this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
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Mildly Infuriating

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For years now, I've been watching most of the trick-or-treaters go to the house on one side of me, take one look at my house and walk right past it, and then go to the house on the other side.

I had no clue why. Maybe they were scared of my house or thought I'd give cheap candy (my house is a bit of a fixer-upper)? I completed my "curb appeal" projects; didn't help.

Maybe they thought nobody was home? I not only have the porch light on, but also have the living room TV on, clearly visible through the (open!) front window, and it makes no difference.

Maybe they think I'm not participating (despite the clear signal of the porch light and jack-o'-lantern)? I put up a bunch of Halloween decorations this year, and it still didn't help!


Well, I finally found out the reason, after hearing one kid scouting ahead yelling to tell his friends to skip my house: "there's no bowl on the porch!"

...You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Yep, unlike my neighbors, who had apparently just left unattended bowls of candy on their porches, I was actually sitting there inside the house, with the bowl of candy, waiting for kids to knock or ring the doorbell before I opened the door and handed it out. You know, like how trick-or-treating is supposed to work.

This is ridiculous. Kids these days are skipping viable houses with candy because they can't be bothered to actually knock on the damn door and say "trick or treat" to the person who answers? Residents are expected to be too lazy to answer the door, and just put out the candy without even receiving the traditional threat first? With no actual interaction with the neighbors for the kids to show off their costumes, what's even the point‽

I finally stuck a sign on the door saying "yes, you have to knock or ring for candy!" and that helped, but even then, some kids are still skipping my house because they apparently can't be bothered to read the sign.

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[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I went out with my kids and we went to a few houses actually that had lights on outside and inside, told my kids to go to the door and knock, waited a minute or so, and nothing. This was maybe half-a-dozen houses, so it’s not always a given that just knocking on the door will get results. The new “normal” is that people are either waiting outside to hand out candy or they’re leaving bowls out for kids to help themselves. Knocking on the door for trick or treating is a crapshoot and it’d be understandable why most kids will skip that. Compared to other houses, it’s more effort for potentially no reward, or, even if there is a reward, it’s the same as every other house.

[–] violetring@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Yeah, there's always an oddly large amount of houses in my neighborhood who don't hand out candy. They'll have all the signals of participation: decorations, porch light on, interior light on and nothing. Especially on bad weather nights, the kids only really hit up the visibly active houses.

We usually go to the other side of the neighborhood too, where there's greater participation (our immediate area doesn't have a lot of kids, so not a lot of houses either). Folks probably resent us when we choose to drive due to weather, park and unleash trick or treaters. We're not from out of neighborhood though (just don't want to walk the extra blocks in freezing rain) and even if we were, why does it matter? I put out/hand out candy every year and don't care who takes it. I bought it for the purpose of giving it away after all 🤷‍♀️. Last few years I've been driving to random street corners that look busy, and hand out while sitting on the trunk of my car, lol.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Not my experience. When I've had no decorations, my house was mostly skipped. When I put a few out with lights on, I got plenty of knocks and rings from both little kids with parents and young teens. And when I was cooking dinner one time, a teen could smell it and asked if they could have some, LOL. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

lmao that Skinner reference though 😆👌

what ours changed to is we'd sit on the porch. we live in a nice warm climate so it doesn't make much difference if we sit in or outside, but the older kids know if your porch light is on, you can knock. If it's off, go away.

[–] Huckledebuck@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 days ago

One of the houses this year had a couple of signs that led you to "knock three times" on the door. It was pretty fun for the kids.

[–] root@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I saw quite a few people sitting outside their houses with their candy ready for the kids. Some even organized them on tables so the kids could come up, pick one, be handed it and go.

[–] MintyAnt@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Has it always been like this or is this a result of the pandemic?

Going out this year I saw lots of folks just outside their house during the start of trick or treating. It was actually really neat. And I just.. didn't expect it

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[–] Boozilla@lemmy.world 23 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

When the weather is nice like it is this year, we put a table and chairs out on our driveway and decorate it. We sit there and have a drink and pass out candy. It's more fun than answering the door, and we end up chatting with neighbors and parents. Our next door neighbors did the same thing as us this year, and it was even more fun, as they were right next to us hanging out.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 23 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Its probably a covid relic or something. Kids knock on my house when I'm not even there cause I have my own kids (and yes, I leave a bowl outside and they still knock)

[–] grue@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago

That seems plausible, except that I've been living here since long before COVID and have been suffering a lack of trick-or-treaters the entire time.

Actually, that reminds me of another failed hypothesis: when I first moved in, the neighborhood was just starting to gentrify and was still a little rough, so at first I figured the lack of trick-or-treaters was due to the lack of families with children in the neighborhood in general. Plenty of 'em now, though.

[–] aimizo@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I took my kids last night and every house had people sitting on the porch with a bowl. None of the houses they knocked on opened the door. There were hundreds of kids around us and I didn’t hear anyone say trick or treat.

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[–] polarpear11@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

I took my kids trick or treating tonight and, in the neighborhood we go to, everyone who is handing out candy sits on their porch or driveway and it's like a big block party. Nobody goes up to the houses with nobody outside because it's assumed they aren't participating. Being in rural texas, I probably wouldn't let my kids knock on those doors, only if that's what was the norm for the neighborhood. People be crazy out here.

[–] TehWorld@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I took my kids out, one is almost 3 and the other is just over a year. So few houses in our neighborhood had ANY appearance of anyone home, let alone participating that it took nearly two hours to get about 15 houses. In a pretty standard suburb. At least two houses that were heavily decorated had nobody home and no bowl out. Two also had colorful lights but when we knocks on the door they looked confused when there were two toddlers yelling at them. One just shut the door in our face and the other sort of stood there for a minute with his mouth agape and finally said “I don’t have anything”. I mentioned to that guy that he MIGHT want to turn his lights off or there would be kids all night, but walking past at the end of our evening, all his lights were on still.

I left a bowl on my porch and had two small groups of respectful kids each take a couple pieces each (video doorbells have changed the game a little).

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[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 14 points 4 days ago

There’s a lady in my neighborhood who gives out juice boxes instead of candy. She’s become famous for it. In warmer years, trick or treating is thirsty work! I’ve heard that the parents sometimes ask for one.

[–] RippleEffect@lemm.ee 7 points 3 days ago

Most of our neighborhood sits outside with the candy and to hang out and see everyone's costumes. They make it very obvious they're handing out candy so when it's knock houses, we're less likely to go

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 15 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

You are if course right and they are wrong. But it's possible they learned this by being yelled at by some curmudgeon who sits at home with their lights on, watching TV on Halloween but screaming at anyone who dares ask for candy. And at all the houses with kids, who welcome them, the parent is out chaperoning their little tribe. Ergo bowl. I say parent because of course they're all divorced by the time the kids are walking.

How to teach them right? Put a sign on your gatepost, not at the door, easily seen from the street. Remember, if they're under 3rd grade they're still learning to read, so keep it simple:

RING BELL FOR CANDY! 🎃🍫🍭🍬👻

Once they do that, you can remind them to say Trick or Treat, and/or admire their costumes.

Baby steps.

[–] archiduc@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I’ve done Halloween for the first time in the uk with my 2 year old, and we passed a few lightly decorated doors (apartment block). Most other flats had a bowl of candy outside and is this one not having it, we were not sure if we could knock or not. I found myself thinking that they were out or didn’t want to be bothered. It has become very unclear. I think next year even if I’m at home (before we go trick or treating) I will put a sign on the door if I want them to knock, so I make it clear to all.

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